Page 53 of Mostly Shattered

What am I doing?

What am I doing?

I can’t concentrate. This is insanity.

I wait for his exploration, wanting his hand to dip further down, wanting him to pull me closer. When he doesn’t, I say, “Everyone is in the dining room waiting for me to come back. We should leave before they come looking for me.”

The words cause my lips to brush against his in a teasingly light caress. I don’t know whether it’s the stress of everything that’s going on in my life, or the intense loneliness I’ve been feeling for the last several months. But I don’t want to be alone. I wantto feel something other than fear and regret. His kiss is right there for the taking. All I have to do is press forward.

Never in a million years would I have thought I’d come to this moment with Costin. He represents everything I’ve always tried to avoid in my life. His kind preys on humans to live. He’s about as entwined in the supernatural world as I can get.

There is a monster inside him that terrifies me. He’s lived centuries and will go on to live centuries more. I can be nothing more to him than this blip in time. Yet, in this moment, I am not repulsed. Quite the opposite, actually.

Oh, fuck it all.

It’s possible that I’m on a fool’s mission and will die tonight. Why not steal a moment of meaningless fun before I do? With luck, time will reset, and he won’t remember it anyway.

I tell myself what I feel for Costin is carnal attraction, nothing more. It’s my body trying to seek comfort through any avenue it can. Plus, he is the only one who knows the truth about the amulet’s magic and the prophecy.

His hand moves lower, pushing the panties down my hips. It’s almost as if he’s testing my response. I close my eyes and wait, not asking him to stop.

He cups my ass and squeezes as he angles me tofully face him. The panties slither down my legs. The soft cashmere shirt presses against my skin, causing me to shiver. For a moment, I forget everything as I focus fully on how my nerve endings are beginning to tingle with anticipation. Every brush against my flesh is like a jolt of warning.

His lips move against mine, and I feel the tiniest scrape of his fangs pulling out my bottom lip. He doesn’t cut me, but I feel the danger in him. My lip springs back, and I wait for him to kiss me. It’s torture, those seconds of intense longing. I wonder if he’s toying with me or if this is some type of test.

My brain struggles to find a logical reason to pull away from him. But my body doesn’t listen. I can’t move. If this is magic and he’s mesmerizing me to feel this way, I don’t care.

I can hear myself drawing in a shaky breath. I’m hungry for his touch. I want him to move his hand around my stomach to find me wet and waiting.

The hand on my back glides upwards, and I feel the clasp of my bra release. He holds my back firmly as if to steady me as his free hand reaches between my breasts to hook my bra and pull it down my arms. I’m left naked and exposed.

Everything about him is so calculating and measured. The more frenzied my need becomes, the more I want him to prove himself the monster I know him to be. I don’t know what he’s waiting for.

My hands tremble as I pull up his cashmere sweater to expose his waistband. I dare another glance up. He’s watching me, waiting. The full length of his arousal lets me know that he’s interested, and that this is not a test.

I unbutton his pants, wanting to take the same slow, torturous time he took with me. But the need is too strong, and I end up fumbling in my rush to undress him. I shove my hand down the front of his pants. The monster does not disappoint.

His lips open wide, baring his fangs as if it’s an involuntary reaction to my touch. I know he wants to bite me. I think I might let him.

I need this. I need to feel something that isn’t doom. And if I’m honest with myself, I need to rebel against all that is expected of me. No one wants me to have the vampire. That only makes me want him more.

I stroke his cock, liking the smooth feel of it against my hand. But it’s not enough. The back of his fingers grazed lightly over my nipples, keeping them erect.

What is he waiting for? I think my invitation is pretty obvious.

“Are we going to do this?” I challenge. “What are you waiting for?”

His kiss is sudden, fierce. There’s no hesitation, no second-guessing. It’s like we’re bothfeeding off each other’s desperation. I let the need, the fear, and the urgency of it all take me over.

His fingers skate their way up my breast to my shoulder. He pushes me down, as if wanting me to get on my knees before him. It’s not what my body wants. It wants to be filled and taken.

Still, I don’t deny him as I get on my knees. His cock is in front of my face, and I take hold of it. I take him into my mouth, sucking lightly. He gives me complete control, not forcing himself deep into my throat. I look up at his body to see his face. His eyes are closed, and he rocks his hips forward as I take him deeper.

I release his length from my mouth. “I need you.”

He moves with supernatural speed, swiftly maneuvering behind me. I fall forward on my hands and knees. He presses my back to force my chest lower on the floor. The carpet cushions into my palms and tickles my nipples. My ass is in the air, and I feel him take my hips.

He brings his cock against my opening and thrusts. I gasp in surprise as he fills me. He rides me like a wild animal, pumping so hard that my knees burn against the carpet.

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