Page 42 of Mostly Shattered

“Please,” he gives a wave of his hand, “spare me your emotional bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” I defend weakly. “I would have done anything for you.”

“Apparently not,” he laughed. “Otherwise, you would have died in the fire like you were supposed to.”

If he had not been born human, I might wonder if he was the ancient evil that I am meant to stop. But to classify Conrad as evil… I can’t do it. Even now. Even after everything. There is a part of me that wants to make excuses for him, that doesn’t want to see what he truly is even as it stares back at me from those lifeless eyes.

Conrad is not evil. He’s broken, and he’s done evil things.

I am making excuses for him again, just likewhen he was alive. Deep down, I know better. I’ve seen the darkness in his eyes, the cruelty that lingers behind his smile. I have to tell myself that he wasn’t always this way—that there was a time when we were just two kids trying to survive in a world we didn’t belong to.

Somewhere along the way, everything distorted inside of him, and now I see nothing left of the brother I used to love.

And yet, a piece of me still hopes. I want to believe that I can save him, that there’s still something good inside him. I take a deep, calming breath. I know better. The last time I made excuses for him, Paul died. I have seen what he’s capable of. He’s dangerous. And I can’t afford to forget that.

“You’re thinking of running, aren’t you?” He glances down at my sneakers and smiles before gliding closer to me.

I take an involuntary step back. My fear gives him pleasure.

He comes close. I can feel the chill radiating off his spirit. “Sorry, little bird. This is one cage you can’t escape.”

I watch in horror as he vanishes from sight. The sound of the lock on my bedroom door clicks loudly. I rush to the door, frantically twisting and shaking the doorknob, but it refuses to budge. I am trapped inside.

Conrad’s laughter reverberates through the room, reminiscent of the lively music from the parties we were never allowed to attend as children. My heart races with anxiety. This can’t be happening. I can’t be here. I need to get out.

I desperately knock on the door, hoping someone will come to my aid and open it. I scream for help, but no one answers. Realizing that I’m trapped, I let go of the door and back away. The sulfuric smell of Conrad’s ghost lingers in the room, leaving me at a loss for what to do.

My mind races. I look around the bedroom, turning in circles as I try to formulate a plan. Seeing the picture, I grab it from the nightstand and throw it in the trash can in my bathroom. I don’t want Conrad staring at me.

I don’t know what to do. I’m just a human. I’m not special. Isn’t that what they’ve been telling me since the day I was born?

I want a normal life with Paul. But that’s never going to happen. My life is too dangerous for normal. Not for the first time I tell myself that I need to forget him. They’re better without me. Besides, I really only knew him for a week. Am I really going to let myself pine away over the love I had for one week? My brain and my heart have two very different answers to that question. Logic needs to win. I need to let him go.

The family elders expect me to marry Chester. It would be the path of least resistance. It would make a powerful alliance for the family. Astrid would be happy. I would finally have her respect. It would keep them safe from the threat of Mortimer’s premonition. But I can’t do it.

I wish my grandfather was here. He would know what I need to do. He would never let them marry me off to the Freemont family.

Then there’s Costin and the prophecy.

Costin is dangerous. I feel it every time the vampire is near me. I can’t get the look in his eyes out of my mind. There is a darkness in him, ancient and untouchable. He’s a predator that’s been stalking the shadows of this world for centuries.

My grandfather trusted him, but why? Why place the weight of this prophecy in the hands of a vampire?

Costin acts like he’s just a guide sent to protect me and see the prophecy through, but he knows more than he’s letting on. I’m not sure I want to find out what that is.

But the scariest part is, despite all my fears, I want to trust him. I want to let him in, to believe that he can keep me safe.

What is wrong with me? I’m a hot mess.

What was my grandfather thinking when he neglected to tell me about his alliance with a mastervampire on my behalf? If the prophecy is true and an ancient evil is rising from the depths of the earth to consume us all, then my other problems don’t matter. If this ancient evil is real, and if it succeeds, everyone will be dead or tortured. It won’t just harm the people I love—it will bring suffering to the entire world.

Considering the potential consequences, there is no question as to which path I need to take. I need to confront this threat, even when that path is uncertain and filled with danger. I grapple with the weight of this responsibility, and I find myself questioning my place in this crazy world.

Grandfather George is the only person who ever really loved me unconditionally. Despite my aversion to vampires, I trust my grandfather. And he trusted Costin. He put the book of prophecies in the hands of a vampire over those of our family. He told Costin about the magical curse attached to the amulet, but no one else.

It looks like I’m going deeper into the supernatural realm. It is a place I don’t belong. But then, I really don’t belong in the mortal world either.

“Conrad?” I say to the empty room. “Are you there?”

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