Page 4 of Mostly Shattered

“Stop,” I whisper. “You’ve got what you want. I’m miserable and alone.”

His face appears right before mine, so close we’d be touching if he was corporeal. I hold still. No one else can see him, and I don’t want to draw attention to myself by swiping at him like a madwoman. His coldness creeps across my face like a melting ice cube.

“You’re not thinking of doing something to yourself, are you?” he asks. “Oh, Tam-tam.”

In fact, I have considered it. I’m not proud of it. In those dark, lonely hours of the night, I think of diving from the penthouse gardens onto the street below, screaming,ego sum avis stultus!

Sometimes the pain is too much.

But I’d never.

“You die, they die,” he warns.

“I hate you,” I whisper through my teeth.

“I don’t care.” Conrad disappears, and the warmth of the sun returns. It takes a moment for it to thaw my face.

I can usually tell when he’s close by the chill, but I always feel like he could be watching. It’s more than a little creepy. Don’t get me started on bathrooms and getting dressed.

“What up, sis?”

I jolt in fright as Anthony leaps over the back of the bench to sit next to me. He automatically settles with his arm across my shoulders.

“Shit, you scared me.” I give him a light punch. “How did you find me?”

Anthony laughs. His lighthearted mannerisms are a stark contrast to Conrad, and I take a moment to adjust. “City hide and seek. You’re going to have to do better than a dog park if you want to disappear.”

To be honest, I’m emotionally drained, and it takes everything in me to hide my growing depression from him. I feel isolated and alone, but I don’t want him to see that.

My half-brother is Conrad’s opposite in every way. Born fully into magic, Anthony has never known a mortal day in his life. He inherited power from our father, who hails from formidable Welsh magic, and his mother, Lady Astrid, who supposedly comes from a Nordic line descended from gods. Even though Conrad was older, Anthony has always been the heir apparent to the Devine empire.

I don’t mind. I never wanted that headache.

Whereas Conrad brooded, Anthony hides his emotions behind smiles and charm. Conrad had been obsessed with gaining respect through power—both money and magic. Anthony does everything he can to avoid his destined responsibility. Anthony went to a special private school for supernatural children. Conrad taught himself about the supernatural out of the family library—spending endless hours reading the old tomes.

With Anthony always gone, I had logged more childhood hours with Conrad.

The one thing my brothers have in common is they both died in the fire during my twenty-eighth birthday party. Only Conrad’s timeline remained. And Anthony was given another chance at life.

Fuck, this is confusing. It’s strange having the overlapping timelines in my head. I know this is therightone, but…

I glance at Paul, but don’t let my gaze linger.

“You have that look again,” Anthony says. “I can feel you brooding from across the park. Talk to me. What’s swirling around in that brain of yours?”

If only I could tell him. If only anyone knew the truth.

“It reminds me of when we were kids. Whenever I came home from school, I’d see you and Conrad huddled and brooding and whispering secrets like you thought the world was going to end. Something changed in you when he came to live with us. I’m not saying I regret our parents adopting him, but I think you were happier before. I know we were closer before he came. I’m not implying that’s anyone’s fault. Our parents sent me away to school and trapped you two with tutors.” Anthony sighs. “I know I’m not him, but I’m a good listener.”

I wish it were that simple. I can’t tell him what Conrad did.

“You wouldn’t understand.” I try to think of Paul’s timeline as a dream, or a story I read.

Or a glimpse.

Yes, a glimpse. I miss that feeling of normalcy and belonging I had with him. Sometimes, I wish ithadn’t happened because now that love is replaced with an ache for what can’t be.

I want to be normal, but I can’t. Maybe that means I’m meant to surrender to my supernatural heritage, even though that world considers me defective.

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