Page 46 of Black Salt Queen

“What is it?” Duja asked.

In one wild moment, Imeria forgot her treasonous plans. She reached for the queen’s wrist and felt the rapid pulse beneath.Push me away,she willed her, but Duja didn’t. Her fingers tightened around her wrist, just in case. She could have dug her claws into the queen’s mind. Could have seized the opportunity dangling above her very nose. Instead, she lowered her voice to a desperate whisper. “Please, Duja. Let them have what we could not.”

Duja’s hand twitched in hers. Her eyes snapped open, watery and bleak. Imeria had bared her heart to Duja the same way twenty-two years before, the last time they’d been alone in the throne room. Was Duja also thinking about the life she might have had, had she opened her heart in return?

“I cannot,” she said in a cracked voice. “You know why I cannot.”

Imeria had not come here to beg, but she begged anyway. “Please. Luntok is no threat to you. He loves your daughter. I can see it. As do you.”

Duja gave her a small, sympathetic smile. “Our children are young and foolish. Calf love does not a marriage make.” Despite the queen’s dismissal, Imeria detected the slightest hitch of desire in her words. A desire that mirrored her own.

“We were once young and foolish, Duja. Don’t you remember?”

Duja swallowed hard. Imeria inched toward her, but the queen stopped her with a jerk of her head. “Imeria,don’t,” she whispered.

Imeria froze but didn’t let her go. The fantasies she had shoved down for years flew from her lips. “The answer is so simple. How can you not see it? Despite the odds, despite your wishes, I bore ason. The same year you bore Laya. My son and your heir, our families united as they were always meant to be?—this is how the gods willed it.”

You and I, together once more,Imeria thought. That fantasy, she did not dare speak.

When Duja stayed silent, Imeria reached for her, brushing her thumb across her jawline. The queen reached up to cup Imeria’s hand to her cheek. Her arm trembled with the onset of a minor tremor. She didn’t pull away.

“Imeria,” Duja sighed, and the sound of her name sent a cascade of want down Imeria’s spine.

“Say yes,” Imeria pleaded. “Think of how wonderful, how easy it would be.”

Imeria no longer spoke on Luntok’s behalf. She knew what she was asking. Her heart pounded in her ears.Don’t push me back. Don’t say it’s too late.

The queen quivered on her feet. For one agonizing second, she leaned toward Imeria?—close enough that Imeria could see the skinny tail of the burn scar peeking out from the collar of Duja’s dress. But instead of edging closer, Duja drew back and closed her eyes as if the sight of her had become too painful. “Oh, my heart. If only my world was as easy as it appears to you.”

Her answer was no, then.

Imeria felt as if a thread had broken inside of her. She wrenched her hand back, fresh tears threatening to spill over her eyelids. “You make it complicated,” she all but hissed.

“Please understand. Laya is my heir. Like me, she cannot marry her first love. How I wish I could afford her this indulgence.” She contemplated Imeria longingly, mournfully, as if she were a ship that had left her behind. Moments before, Imeria mistook her remorse as an opportunity to twist Duja’s heart for her own gain. But now, to gaze upon her this way was like falling on her own knife.

“Oh, I understand, Duja. I understand that, however little I ask, you will never indulge me,” she said, jerking back. The girlish yearning soured once more as rage boiled in her veins.

From high up on her obsidian throne, the queen liked to pretend she was a pillar of duty and sacrifice. But Imeria knew that beneath the steady veneer, Duja was calculating and selfish and cruel. She had preyed upon Imeria’s devotion in the past when she’d cast her out of the palace. Scathingly, Imeria wondered if she’d summoned her to the throne room to humiliate her one last time.

Duja frowned. “That isn’t fair. What you ask, Imeria, is no small thing. If we can speak rationally for once, perhaps we can?—”

“No, Duja. You’ve said your piece.”

The queen called out her name, but Imeria had already turned her back on her. She could no longer listen to Duja’s reasons. No longer play this game. No longer pretend that, in the hollow stone of Duja’s heart, Imeria had ever carved out a place.

Three

Lost Elegies

Dear Luntok,

I have no words, my darling, other than to tell you how my heart aches on your behalf. Bulan is no sister of mine. Know that I will hate her forever after what she did today.

The healers assured you a speedy recovery, but I need to see you to be sure. The moment you feel well enough, you must come to me. Dash the guards. Come through the palace gates if you must. I long, more than ever, to be with you.

Since the tournament, I have asked myself over a hundred times how you could ever love a woman like me?—a woman who is selfish and cruel, and who has never treated you with the kindness you deserve.

Do you still love me, Luntok? I pray to the gods that this sentiment has not changed, given how awfully my family has treated you.

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