Page 33 of Jaded Red

“What. Are. You. On?” I grit out through clenched teeth.

She sighs and climbs off my lap, throwing herself to the passenger side. Crossing her arms over her plump chest, Tanya glares at me. “Nothing.”

“Why are you lying to me?” I growl and start my truck.

“I’m not.” She pouts.

“You are. I can smell it on you. What are you on?” I demand.

“Fine. The girls gave me something to take the edge off and make me loosen up. Geez, I didn’t realize it was a big deal.” Tanya finally admits.

“What was it?”

“I don’t know it was a white powder I put on my teeth. They didn’t say and I didn’t ask. I’m tired of being the only virgin besides you, in school. I figured if I loosened up and not be so scared, we could go to the next level.” Tanya is sobbing in the passenger seat. “I’m so sorry, Matt. I didn’t think you’d act like this.”

I pull my pickup over and turn on my four-ways. We’re on a dark and secluded farm road in the middle of nowhere Virginia. Only the beam from my pickup illuminates the area in front of us. I put my pickup in Park and unbuckle my seatbelt. I slide over the bench seat and pull her into my arms.

“Tanya, I’m not in any hurry to move forward. As we agreed, I will wait until you are ready. It doesn’t matter if we’re the only couple who doesn’t have sex. What we have is so much more than that.” I run my palm over her smooth dark hair.

Tanya sniffles before clinging onto my shirt. “You promise you’ll wait?”

“I promise. I will wait until the end of time, if you need me to, Tanya. You’re too important to me.” I kiss her softly on the lips.

“Thank you, Matt. You’re too good for me.” One last kiss and I release Tanya and slide behind the wheel bucking my seatbelt.

Bright lights shine inside the cab behind me growing closer and closer at a rapid speed. Before I can put my pickup in drive, the approaching vehicle slams into ours from behind, shoving us off the road. My seatbelt locks me in place and my head hits the steering wheel. I shake off the impact and watch helplessly as Tanya’s skull shatters the windshield and she’s flung out of the vehicle. Before I can scream Tanya’s name, the airbags deploy, smacking me hard in the face, bringing tears to my eyes and making my ears ring. The sounds of breaking glass, crunching metal, blaring horns and Tanya’s screams penetratethrough the fog. Just as quickly as the screaming started, it stopped.

Blood rushes down my face as I try to unbuckle my seatbelt.

“No, no, no!” I scream, frantically trying to unhook the stupid thing.

“Tanya!” I scream into the silent night. “Tanya!”

When she doesn’t answer, panic settles deep into my bones and I fight with everything I have to stay conscious. My hands are shaking relentlessly as I finally get my seatbelt unhooked. I try to open my door but it’s not budging. I throw myself into it over and over again until it finally gives way and I fall out.

I’m dizzy from the impact of repeatedly throwing myself into the door and fall on my ass but I get up and stumble my way to the front of my truck. “Tanya!” I shout into the quiet night. The glow from my headlights land on a small lump in the middle of the ditch. I hurry over to it. “No, no, no!”

I turn Tanya’s body over and tears flow freely down my face. Her head is at a weird angle and she isn’t breathing. I cradle her limp body against my chest, rocking back and forth, crying and screaming for anyone to help us.

After several minutes, my voice turns hoarse but I don’t stop clutching her. My life, the one girl I thought I’d get forever with is gone and I can’t bring her back.

I look up to the clear night sky with tears on my face. “Tanya, if you’re listening, I will keep my promise to you. I will wait forever if I have to.”

Matt stops talking and we sit in silence for a while. He is lost in his memories and I’m trying to digest what he’s told me. “What happened after that?” I ask, swallowing my grief. He needs meto be strong right now. Matt doesn’t answer right away. I move to the edge of the bed where he is sitting and rub circles on his back. Now, I understand more than what I did before and I will cherish every moment he gives me.

Matt wipes away the tears in his eyes and turns his gaze toward me. “The cops came and said the guy who hit us was drunk. He died on impact that night too, but it didn’t make sense. Nothing that night made sense and it wasn’t until years later I figured out why.” Matt swallows hard and continues. “I spiraled, Nadia. I went down a dark path seeking answers for Tanya’s death that ended with me in a six by eight room with bars for doors.”

I swallow hard. Matt doesn’t need my judgment. I was a stripper at one point for Christ's sake! “How long were you in for?”

“Five years.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want to, but I need to so you understand the danger that comes with being a part of my life.”

“Isn’t being in a one percent biker club dangerous?” I tease.

Matt snorts, “I wish. The reason I’m mentioning this is because of what you said earlier about a Russian connection. I was mixed up with a Russian mafia and did tech stuff for them. Only I didn’t know it was the Russians until I was arrested and the FBI’s foreign counterintelligence showed me proof. I was highly skilled with computers and hacking since I was about fourteen and I honed that skill until I was the best hacker on the West Coast. A man named Lance Obolensky approached me with a job I couldn’t refuse. He made me believe I could use their resources to find Tanya’s killer. So, I took the job at a security firm in San Francisco. For a few years, I’d hack people’s accounts, move money from accounts, and all that bullshit. Then shit got real. I was getting closer to finding out who killed Tanyawhen I received a phone call from Lance. His boss needed me to hack into a system and send him the information. So, easy, breezy, I did it. A few days later, the FBI’s counterintelligence was knocking on my door and I ended up in prison for hacking into a government website and selling information to the Russian mob.

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