Page 72 of You're All I Need

Ihaveto.

Because a relationship with Caden isn’t in the cards.

Even if I changed my mind and was ready to settle down with someone, doing the whole dating thing, I know Caden isn’t in the same place. He’s made it very clear he has no intention of ever going there again, let alone considering the possibility of marriage someday.

And let’s be honest, as hurt as I was when Sullivan pulled his disappearing act on our wedding day, I realize I might consider the possibility of falling in love with someone again. Caden made me see that. Just by being him, I’m actually contemplating giving love another try.

Which is exactly why it’s time to put on the brakes. As much as I enjoy spending time with him, I can see myself getting in too deep. I’m falling, and if I’m not careful, I’ll find myself completely smitten and alone, while he goes about his life, bouncing from bed to bed and avoiding relationships.

You know, just like I’ve done?

But this is real.

Real life, and it isn’t always pretty. Hurt happens, even when you try to protect yourself from it at all costs.

“You okay?”

I startle as Max walks up behind me and drops a bucket of fresh ice into the chest cooler. “Oh, yeah, sorry,” I reply with a chuckle. “Just zoning out for a minute.”

He nods, glancing over at the new customers I’ve yet to serve.

I take off before he can ask me any more questions about why I’m just standing here, a dazed look on my face.

“Hey, everyone,” I greet, placing coasters down in front of each patron. “What can I get you to drink?”

After they place their orders, I move to fill three draft beers and two mixed drinks. The door opens again, and I look up, surprised to find Caden and Jack entering. I offer a smile, placing the drinks in front of the customers, and head in their direction. “What are you two doing here?”

“Grabbing a quick bite to eat before we head to the hospital. We have some work to do there in their new surgical wing,” Jack says.

“Oh, that’s right. Big job.”

“It is.” He glances over his shoulder and spots Stevie. Grabbing Caden on the shoulder and giving it a light squeeze, he says, “I’ll meet you in there.”

I watch as he walks away, placing a gentle kiss on Stevie’s cheek as he finds a table in her section. I’ve always appreciated the way he respects and treats my friend, especially how he showers her with constant love and support, but this is the first time since I met them that I’ve envied them.

“Uhh, I just wanted to say thank you for last night.”

I turn my head and grab a washcloth to start wiping down the bar. “Oh, you’re welcome. It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing, and thanks to the leftovers you left, I now have dinner,” he informs me with a cheesy grin I can’t help but return.

I scrub on the bar top, even though there’s nothing on it to wipe away. “That’s what friends are for.”

He watches me, and I’m unable to read his expression. “Listen, I’ve been thinking…”

A lump forms in my throat, and something tells me I know exactly what’s coming. It’s the same thing I’ve been considering,only Caden’s beating me to it. “Oh? About what?” I ask, clearing my throat, which just causes the lump of dread to fall to the pit of my stomach.

He opens his mouth and hesitates. There’s confusion and uncertainty in his eyes that causes my anxiety to skyrocket. “I’ve been thinking,” he starts once again, looking down for a brief moment before meeting my gaze and holding it. “Next weekend is the big basketball tournament in Cincinnati I was telling you about. I didn’t know if you were working or not, but I thought I’d see if you wanted to go. With me.”

Okay. That’s not at all what I thought he was going to say.

“I was checking earlier like you suggested, and there is a Reds game Friday night. We could leave here around four and be to the game in plenty of time for first pitch.” He seems nervous to ask, which is completely out of character for him.

“I thought you were going with your sister.”

He shrugs. “We were planning to drive separately, and I’ll just get my own hotel room. This way, Joshua can have the second bed to himself instead of sharing with me or crashing on the couch.”

“What about Meredith?”

---