Page 5 of Lost Lyrics

I gathered up the four notebooks, held them against my chest and headed into the living room where everyone lazed around on the sofas and the floor, having a drink after dinner.

I ambled over to join them and sank into the seat beside Lewis. He kissed me on the cheek and smiled. “Love you.”

“And I love you.” I caught his chin, touched my lips against his, then placed the notebooks on my lap. I flattened my palms against the top cover and searched my head and heart again to make sure this was right.Yes. It is.

“Guys?” I glanced from Flint, to Cole, to Slip. “I have something for you. For you to use, if and when, you decide to work on your next album.”

Flint pinched his eyebrows together as he glanced at my lap. “What’ve you got there, Tee?”

I flicked through the pages of the top notebook. “These were Phil’s. I’ve had them in storage for years.”

Flint and Cole put down their beers on the coffee table. Slip shuffled forward on the sofa. Curiosity shimmered in their eyes.

I closed the book and stared at the cover. “They’re full of lyrics, notes, and music. Most of them are from back in high school and when I was at college. They may be useless, but I want you to have them. You might find something you can use, or that will inspire new material.”

“Tee, aren’t they personal?” Cole winced and rubbed his chest as if it ached. “For your eyes only?”

Are they? No. They were Phil’s.I traced Phil’s name on the cover. “Phil was part of our lives. These belong to everyone. There are many songs about the things you guys did together. Parties. Events.Girls.Some of the lyrics are dark, but most werewritten before he got sick. When he was happy.”

“Tee?” Slip leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Concern edged into his tone. “Are you sure you want us to have them?”

The steady strum of my pulse didn’t alter. “Yes. His lyrics shouldn’t remain lost, or forgotten, or tucked away in an old box. Phil wouldn’t want that. You don’t have to use them. I just thought you might like to read them.”

“Thank you. We will.” Slip took a notebook and flicked through the pages, then chuckled. “Fuck...he had the worst handwriting ever.”

Cole grabbed another one. “Yeah, but he had a way with words.”

Flint hesitated before taking a notebook. “Thanks, Tee. The lost lyrics of Phil, huh?” He jutted the notebook toward Lewis. “Have you read these?”

“Yes.” Lewis nodded as he curled his hand around my thigh. “It has given me a deeper understanding of who he was, how much he loved you, Tia, and life. Also, how messed up he was. But there’s some good shit in there if we ever want to do something with them.”

Trouble stitched deep lines into Slip’s brow. He smoothed his hands over the cover of the book resting on his legs. “We’ll see.”

Like the guys, I missed Slip living nearby. He was like a brother to me. But I, out of everyone here, knew how good it was to escape the place that had caused so much pain. Sometimes you needed to run away to find yourself again. To heal the cracks in your heart. Leaving LA for three years had done wonders for me. Slip and Maddy had left town, and from where I sat, it looked like it was working for them. Both looked happy and healthy. That was worth the band having a break.

But I didn’t miss the agony radiating off Flint. He’d never bethe same if Slip didn’t come home and the band didn’t reform.

I’d learned you couldn’t run away from your problems forever or stay away from those you loved and belonged with. My time acting in Chicago had been what I’d needed. It had irrefutably changed me. It had forced me to grow up. Had put much needed distance between Phil and me. I’d fallen in and out of love again, and had incurred an injury that had broken not only my ankle and half my leg but also my soul. I’d had to face the harsh fact I’d never be the same. Coming home hadn’t been easy. But these people, my family, helped me navigate my way forward. I’d needed their love and support. I was beyond lucky to have found a new career working with the band and a new love. Lewis was my partner for life.

A baby would give us the family we’d always wanted.

But why the fuck wasn’t I pregnant yet?

After months of trying and trying? After check-up after check-up?

Medically, there was nothing wrong. Lewis wasn’t firing blanks. My hormones were on point. We were fit and healthy. I was taking pre-natal vitamins. We were doing everything right. But still...no baby.

Ergh!I flicked my doubts aside and reached for the TV remote. “I have one more thing to show you.” I pointed the controller toward the flat-screen mounted on the wall and turned it on. “I made a video. If it’s okay, I’d like to play it.”

“Is this one of your sex tapes, Tee?” Intrigue flitted through Slip’s eyes.

“Why? Do you need to learn something new?” I teased. Slip and I had always been great friends. He’d been closer to me than my actual brother. He’d helped me through my awkward teenage years and my turbulent relationship with Phil. We’d talked through every boy-girl experience and drama we’d faced. There’d never been a subject off-limits. And we’d neverbetrayed each other’s trust.

Slip grinned a big, cheesy grin. “Tee, there is nothing on this planet you could teach me that Mads and I haven’t already done.”

“Okay...okay,” Cole cut in, holding out his hand, and he paled. I loved making my brother squirm. He was protective of me and liked to think I was all sweet and innocent. “I do not want to hear about your sex lives. Tee, what’s the video?”

“It’s of Phil.” I grabbed my phone and searched for the file to cast.

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