Page 69 of Come Back to Me

Once he’s situated, he queries, “Music?”

“I’m good with silence.”

As we leave Saskatoon behind, I realize how late it is. I mean, I knew, but there’s knowing and the passage of time registering.

Before Millie abandoned me, it felt like seconds were passing when it must have been an hour minimum.

With that in mind, and guilt spearing me, I find my phone and send her a message.

Me: I’m really sorry about tonight

My thumbs hover, on the brink of asking if she’d like to go on another date with me, but I don’t type the request out.

It has nothing to do with the man at my side.

Nope.

Not even if he’s driving with one hand.

Nuh-uh.

I send the text, and it’s a good thing I didn’t make the offer—two ticks show she received my message but there’s no reply.

More guilt pummels me.

I was the worst first date ever and there’s nothing I can do to make up for it now either. Was I so bad that she’ll reconsider being gay? I didn’t leer at her and my breath didn’t stink of garlic…

I am a thief, though—I stole her pencil.

And it’s not like you canchooseto be gay?—

“Why are you so riled up?”

“What if I turned her off women?”

She probably hates me. Thinks that all women will be more interested in work than her!

A cough escapes him. “What?”

“Millie. She only just came out,” I wail. “I was her first date with another woman.”

“I’m not sure sexuality works that way,” he says, his tone suspiciously free from inflection.

“No, but she might give a guy a go because I sucked, and then they might get married because she’s vulnerable, and then she’ll end up leaving him when she’s in her forties because she can’t hide from her sexuality anymore!

“And if they have kids, well, I’ll have fucked up their childhoods, and everyone knows kids blame their parents for everything. They’ll probably never trust their mom and dad again, which will lead to trust issues in their own relationships!”

“That escalated quickly. I’m pretty sure you’re not going to be the worst date she’s ever been on. This was her first date with a woman, but she’s been dating guys. Trust me, she’s had worse.

“Sure, you were disinterested and ignored her, but you weren’t cruel. She’ll probably avoid musicians for a while, not all women. And that whole stuff about getting married and causing her kids to have trust issues? I think that’s pushing things too far.”

“You do?” I plead.

He clears his throat. “I’m pretty damn sure. On the plus side, she might have been a serial killer and you broke free of her clutches so?—”

I gasp. “She carried a pencil in her purse.” (One that’s in mine now.)

“And?”