Page 8 of Come Back to Me

I frightened the others off. (Without meaning to. At least, I think I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t intentionally abrasive.)

Are you soldier enough for me? (I don’t mean that sexually but, honestly, I expected more of the Armed Forces. If they’re scared of me, then how are they fighting the baddies? I can’t imagine the Russians are good at small talk?)

T (I’m as weird as I sound but I’m a great pen pal. Always prompt. Never miss a letter. I promise! Anyway, nice to meet you!)

T,

Pleasure to meet you.

I have one word for you - whoa!

Looking forward to being frightened off.

Bring it on.

But soldier boy? Seriously?

My call sign is Butch Cassidy. If I answer to anything, it’s that. ;)

Dear Butch Cassidy,

You didn’t tell me your first name!

I like your answer though. You got spunk. My friends tell me I have enough for the rest of them put together… Did you know spunk can mean semen? So, I guess that means if I have enough for the rest of them put together, they also think I sleep around a lot.

OR they think I collect the semen of my partners?

(Which would make sense seeing as I’m on the shot so I do have access to some semen… [I hope you always wrap your junk.] Not for someone to steal the condoms from but just in general, you know? STDs suck. [Not that I’ve had one.] I just imagine they do.)

Have you heard of brujería?

My family has Italian roots, not Hispanic, but I think I should have been born in South America. I’m definitely the kind of girl who would put panties in my man’s coffee jar. My only ick is that they have to be used. They say it gets a man hooked on your… ‘charms.’

(What’s charming about dirty panties, I don’t know, but I’m still fascinated.)

And sugar skulls and the Day of the Dead—so fascinating. I have zero culture. I’m as bland as cream cheese. It must be so awesome to come from such a rich heritage.

Anyhoo, not sure how we went from gang bangs and semen to STDs and dirty panties in one short letter, but that’s how I roll. I can see why some of the soldiers were scared of me, BUT I still maintain that the enemy won’t sweet-talk you.

Maybe I could offer my services to the RCAF as, like, someone who’ll toughen the guys up? It’s a thought.

How’s your day? Have you done anything nice?

I hope so.

Can I send you a care package? Tell me what you need that reminds you of home and I’ll hunt it down for you.

Do you love Westerns?

(If you’re Butch Cassidy, I’m either the Sundance Kid or Calamity Jane. You choose.)

I liked that movie, but I’m not a big fan of Westerns. They grind a bit, but Robert Redford as a cowboy, ooh, yeah.

Anyway, hope you’re doing well!

T

Calamity Jane,

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