Page 28 of Come Back to Me

You know Z? Her brother died overseas. He was a soldier too. That’s another reason I’m writing to you. He was PKIA. I had a massive crush on him and I wanted to write him letters, but I was super shy and never built up the courage to send him one. I thought he’d figure out I had feelings for him so I used to wait for news through Z.

Then he was gone.

Nonna (we’re super close) knew about my crush and she encouraged me to sign up to this program. I ignored her (beingclose doesn’t mean I don’t have a mind of my own) until she saw this announcement on social media, shared it with me, and it got me moving.

Here we are. :)

Alongside the English horn, I play the flute and the oboe. And because I’m difficult, the violino piccolo. It’s practically unused so I’m determined to bring it back. It’s very baroque in style. I decided to pick up the cello last year and am working on my hate/love relationship with the piano.

I’m in an orchestra, and the reason Juilliard loves me is because I’m great with the flute but I prefer the oboe. (See aforementioned ‘I’m difficult.’) I hate the orchestra though. They always want us to play boring shit. I mean, Bach’s Bach, but I was over that when I was two, you know? I write my own compositions, but the orchestra’s really bad for my muse. Haven’t written anything decent in years. I wonder if I need someONE to be my muse. Hmm. How do you go about finding one?

MuseHunt.com?

Z’s brother used to do that for me.

I’d see him and start humming.

I miss that. Miss him.

Ugh, gloomy. Sorry!

My favorite song to play is “Gymnopédie No.1” by Satie. It’s not very niche and certainly not the most complex of pieces,but it makes me tingle and that’s what matters the most. Music should make you feel. The program I’m in robs me of that sensation. It’s like it’s losing its soul. I’ve been discontent with it for a long time, but what else am I gonna do? Sell insurance? Ha! I’d end up taking out every policy, then I’d turn into my friend who’s agoraphobic and never wants to leave the house. It’d cost me a fortune in insurance premiums and therapy sessions!

My favorite song in general is impossible to pin down. So, what I currently have on repeat is “Daisy” by Ashnikko. If you listen to it, you’ll know why. ;)

What about you?

I realized a lot of these questions are what you ask on a dating profile, lol.

What did you eat today?

CJ

CJ,

Ohhh, that song is VERY you.

You’re the first woman I’ve met who’d consider being a bitch a kink, lol.

I bow before your brilliance! How’s that? I don’t bow for anyone, I’ll have you know.

BTW, thank you for the crystal. What do I do with it? What’s it called?

So, favorite song is “In A Broken Dream” by Rod Stewart. It’s an old song, one of his earliest. He wasn’t originally credited. They say he only earned enough to buy a set of seat covers for his car!! Can you imagine? My nanna introed me to Rod Stewart. She’s English. At her funeral, she wanted “Sailing” to be played. God, I still can’t listen to that song. I miss her so freaking much.

I also agree that Bach is definitely Bach, lol. But wow, you were playing instruments at two? I think I was figuring out that mud pies didn’t taste good.

My brother’s smart like you. He finds idiots intolerable. It’s part of the reason he’s bullied at school, I think. He isn’t very popular, but then, he doesn’t suffer fools gladly so he’ll never fit in well. But if you’re anything like him, I get it. Being that kind of smart is hard work.

So, I know beads and crystals aren’t related at all, but Inuvik has Tli?cho beadworkers. Maybe you’dlike them. I was thinking of the last time I visited and there was this art festival going on. My mind played Connect Four and latched onto you.

I’m sorry your crush died overseas. It’s a sad reality of life for us. I hate that I’m getting to this phase where I’m prepared for it. It’s definitely not healthy, but to fly how I have to, I can’t think about it.

Once upon a time, I wanted to do this job because I couldn’t imagine anything better than flying.

God, I used to dream about it.

I’d lie on the grass in our front yard and stare at the sky, waiting for planes to go overhead. The only time I feel free is when I’m in the cockpit, but the first time I flew on active duty, I recognized that it came with a massive price.

---