Page 276 of Come Back to Me

“Don’t pretend that this isn’t different. You had a job. You earned your own money. How is this fair to them if you’re not earning money that’ll pay your way? What are you even doing over there?”

“Dad, I played for one of the best orchestras in the United States of America?—”

“Played being the operative word. I don’t and never will understand why you threw all of that away! What do you intend on doing with your life? Why can’t you be?—”

“What? Like Anthony?” I insert. “Is that what you want to say?”

“Your brother chose a path for himself, stuck with it, and did well. He’s married. Has a family. He’s?—”

“Normal?” I pshaw in disgust. “Normal isn’t for me. And this, to be pretty honest, is why I went to Juilliard. There are some fantastic music programs in Canada, but I knew that I had to get away because all you and Mom ever goddamn talk about is me and being normal and doing things like?—”

“Existing in this world! Goddammit, Tee, I love you more than life itself, but we’re not always going to be around. Your nonna isn’t either. Do you know how much we all worry about you? Bills need to be paid, rent has to be paid, gas needs to be paid. Living is expensive! You can’t skim off the Korhonens forever. You need a plan.”

Torn between being stung and hating the immediate gut punch that is the prospect of being without them, even if they are pains in my ass, has me gasping like he sucker punched me.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, sweetheart. I know you hate talking about…”

“You’re not sick, are you? Mom said your blood pressure was high but under control?—”

“I’m as fine as I can be for a fifty-four-year-old,” he says wryly. “But I’d be better if I knew you were settled. Have you thought about what you’ll be doing next year?”

“I’m pitching music to a director?—”

He gapes at me. “That’s your plan?”

“It’s something?—”

“Sweetheart, surely you can see that’s a pipe dream? God knows I love you, Tee, and I recognize your talent. If I didn’t, I’d never have let you take all those damn lessons that cost us a small fortune. But this is it. You’re nearly thirty?—”

“I’m nearer twenty-five than thirty,” I grouse.

“You should know what you’re doing by now.”

“Why should I? Why do I need to? I can go back to New York and pick up where I left off! Or maybe you’d prefer it if I livedin Vancouver and played for the Philharmonics or moved to Ontario! Why do you two have to meddle the minute I’m home?”

“I understand that you needed time to land on your feet, but you’ve been home for months. Are you intending on sleeping on their couch until you retire?”

“It’s the Seven Cs, Dad. Jeez, I have my own bedroom.”

“Why won’t you come home? Our door is open?—”

“Why would I want to when this is all I ever hear?”

“You can’t waste your talent!”

“Make up your damn mind, Dad. Am I talented enough to write movie scores, or am I wasting my time and should throw it aside to be a teacher?”

When he sputters, I know I’ve got him. But that isn’t what I want. I hate arguing with him, and I know he only argues with me out of worry, but I’m so freakin’ sick of hearing it.

“Ihavea plan. It might not seem like I do, but I do. I’m helping my best friend integrate into this new life she’s in. I’m assisting her with her hair and makeup and they leave me alone.

“I compose all day. I write most of the night. I’m building a backlist of songs that I’m going to pitch to a movie director one of the Korhonens knows, and if/when that falls through, I’m going to persevere until I succeed.”

It’s only as I shout the words at him that I realize how much this is what I want to do. Not playing in an orchestra, but making songs for movies. It’s weird that I never contemplated it before Cody suggested it, but I know this is the right move. I just know it.

With that belief at the heart of me, my tone softens as I tell him, “And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll go to The Coffee Shop and work there for a while. Because, why not? You have no problem with Anthony not having an academic job, so why is it a problem for me?”

“Because you’re smart! You’re so goddamn smart. It’s a tragedy that you don’t apply yourself. You never have?—”

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