Page 144 of Come Back to Me

And I had no idea what to do with the rest of my life.

Plus, I hate to say it, but everyone knows what happens when a veteran goes back home broken. Divorce rates are high. Some turn to drinking. The stats aren’t pretty. I wanted to spare you that. Spare you ME. Especially if… Well, I was raised in an abusive home. Breeding matters. What if THAT had been bred into me?

I never wanted to hurt you physically, but I broke something else instead.

I’ll never forgive myself, and even though it’s not enough, I hope you know that I’m sorry.

Fuck, I miss you.

Can you please play “Iron Sky” by Paolo Nutini for me?

I understand if you won’t.

Yours.

Forever.

Cody

Tee,

Thank you. I know you haven’t written me back yet, but that’s fine. You performed the song beautifully.

Yours forever,

Cody

Cody,

A-.

Why did they say you couldn’t work as a pilot anymore?

Tee

PS. How social are you? On a scale of 1 (hermit)-5 (party animal)?

Tee,

2-3.

It’s something called conversion disorder.

Long story short, mental health issues can disrupt how your brain works.

It leads to physical symptoms that are outside of people’s control.

Some go mute; others experience paralysis. It can affect the senses or the body itself.

For me, it was my arm.

At first, there was an issue on an MRI scan, so they figured it was damaged in the crash. But there was so much wrong with me, it wasn’t a priority. I came in with shrapnel lodged in one of my lungs, and yeah, I was in a coma for a while.

Anyway, the arm shit was the least of their problems. Eventually, it BECAME a problem, and after more tests, they figured out what was wrong with me.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’d hit rock bottom by that point.

God, I was so low.

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