Page 25 of Teach Me K-Pop
“Since I lived in South Korea?” I’m a little disappointed that what I usually consider to be the most interesting thing about me is not more widely known.
Harper appears to be genuinely offended by this discovery. “You lived there? And you never told us?!”
“It’s not a secret?” I kind of want to laugh now. I point toward the window in my office. “There’s literally a map of Seoul on the wall.”
Savannah goes running over to the glass, pressing her face against it. “Oh wow, there really is.”
“Did you live in Seoul? What did you do there? Did you meet any idols?” Alita and Harper talk over each other, questions mixing together.
“Yes, I lived in Seoul. I taught English there, and I guess there’s a possibility one of my students grew up to become an idol.”
“I can’t believe you lived in Seoul and didn’t tell us!” Savannah shouts on her way back over to us.
“You taught English? Oh my god, you could be a tutor!” Alita grabs Harper’s arm. “Remember when Nikko and Lux were saying in that livestream that they needed to find an English tutor? Imagine if Mr. K was their teacher! He could introduce us!”
Harper’s eyes go wide. “That would be incredible!”
I suck in a surprised gasp of air that I try to cover with a cough as they accidentally stumble entirely too close to the truth. “Hey, let’s watch the pirates, huh?”
They’re distracted enough once the video starts that they let it drop in favor of dissolving into laughter, and I’m grateful for that. I’m only half-watching the antics on the pirate ship, but it’s entertaining enough that I know I’ll go find it again later and actually pay attention. I can’t stop thinking about what Savannah said about Nikko being poetic, and how I know that he is. I know the way his voice sounds as he carefully pronounces beautiful lines about love in a language he’s still learning. I know the way he speaks, a kind of poetry of his own.
I miss him.
Every time Nikko appears on screen, I can’t help but let my eyes follow him, like I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to. It makes some kind of ache twinge in my chest. Talking with the girls has just made me realize that there’s no substitute for our conversations.
Somewhere in the middle of my library, watching six idols hilariously and ridiculously roleplay like pirates on the search for gold, it becomes very apparent to me just how dumb I’ve been about everything the past few days. I’ve been so busy thinking and worrying about stuff that didn’t matter, that I missed the most important thing.
I already know Nikko. I know who he is to me. Who I’d want him to be, if that were possible. But now that I know who he is to the rest of the world, I’m learning the way they love him. Who he is to his fans.
He’s still the same guy that pops up on my computer and makes my whole day (or night). Laughs with me—and at me—and trusts me with hidden parts of himself. Gives me something like feral tap-dancing butterflies when he smiles at me.
God, I want to talk to him.
We finish the FLY episode—Alita dabbing at her eyes from the tears she cried from laughing so hard—just before the bell rings, and they take off, promising to come back for more when they can.
I tell them I’ll be waiting, as I head to my office and grab my phone. Normally I do my best to stay off it while I’m at school, but this feels too important to wait. I type, erase, type, and erase a message three times before I send it.
“Hi, Nikko. Looking forward to our next chat. Let me know when you have time for me.”
Is it fishing a little? Yeah. Do I feel bad about it? No.
His reply is almost immediate.
“I have missed you. I can talk tonight.”
Nikko may belong to the world most of the time, but on that screen, for those moments we share, I can let myself believe that he’s just there for me. That maybe, he could be mine.
CHAPTER EIGHT
JASE
“Jase!”
Even though I’ve been trying to prepare myself for what seems like hours, I’m still startled when Nikko appears on-screen.
I’ve seen him everywhere for the past week—all the videos, articles, websites, the stack of teen magazines I bought at the bookstore without ever making eye contact with the clerk—but it doesn’t lessen the effect of him being right in front of me.
He looks even better than I remembered. Like all those days of not seeing him face-to-high-def-digitized-face had somehow made the details of his features hazy in my mind. Which sounds ridiculous, even as I think it. But there he is, with his dark eyes all lit up like he’s glad to see me, and his smile is just... devastating.
