Page 69 of The King's Man 3

I hold my breath. Quin waits for Nicostratus to continue, and he does. “Your mother wears a ribbon for you, too. His Akilah is saddened, but his vitalian friend visits her.”

I sag onto my haunches.

Nicostratus hesitates, then lifts his chin higher. “May I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“He tried to kill you under our uncle’s orders. Will you ever forgive him?”

“Brother—”

“No. What I really mean to ask is, will you ever forgive me?”

“What for?”

“For this.” He gestures to his silver ribbon. “For mourning him. Missing him, wishing he were still alive.”

Quin remains quiet for long beats, and my heart bangs so hard I wonder they can’t hear it.

“Was your love that deep?” Quin finally asks.

“I can’t explain it. He made me smile. I’d light up inside. I’d want time to pause so I could have him with me longer.”

“You’re saying you’ve forgiven him?”

“Do you forgive me for it?”

Quin speaks slowly, as if still deliberating. “If he could hear you, I’m sure he’d be relieved to know your feelings.”

“What about your feelings?”

Quin laughs hollowly.

“I used to think you...” Nicostratus shakes his head. “Then I thought you must resent him. Now you’re curious about his akla.... You’re not filled entirely with hate.”

“I’m not filled with hate.”

Nicostratus lets out a long breath. “It’s a weight off my chest. I can go on without feeling guilty.”

I shut my eyes.

Quin murmurs, “Travel safely.”

“If the day comes when you need me, brother... know I’ll be there.”

My chest tightens as I watch him leave, his red cloak disappearing through the doorway. Something about his words, his tone, sits uneasily in my chest. I glance at Quin, but his expression is unreadable.

When his footsteps have long faded, Quin says, “Come out.”

I slip onto the same chair Nicostratus had sat on. It’s still warm. A soft ache fills my chest. The silence between us is heavy, Nicostratus’s presence still palpable.

I open my mouth to speak and press my lips tight again.

“Say it,” Quin demands.

I point toward the screen where I’d been hiding. “Why don’t we tell him? He’s played out his natural reaction to my death. He’s made it look real to the royal city...”

Quin’s fingers curl around the arm of his chair. “I needed to gauge his situation. Need to make sure knowledge of your continued existence won’t hurt him, or you.”