“No.” She slammed the freezer shut. “No more thinking. No more food and drink. No more requests.”
“Why, Olivia, what happened to your bedside manner? I’m going to have to call the nurse’s union about your attitude.”
Olivia stalked back to the couch. “I’ll bring you your phone if you’d like to call an ambulance or get an Uber, but I will not bring you one more ridiculous thing.”
Standing over him, she lifted the bag full of ice, positioned it precisely, and when she had his complete attention, dropped it directly into his crotch.
???
“This isGuy Talk. You’re on the air.”
“What’s going on in that apartment, Matt? How could you let the doctor get the drop on you like that?”
“Ding, ding, ding, ding. You are the one-thousandth person to call and ask that very same question. In a moment, our announcer will tell you what you’ve won. In the meantime, I have a question of my own: What were you doing sitting around watching our live stream in the middle of the afternoon? Does your boss know you’re visiting non-work-related websites during business hours?”
“I hate to tell you this, Ransom, but I caught it on Twitter. There’s a slo-mo version that’s going viral.”
Matt raised the ice pack to his jaw. “Great. So everyone’s seen it, huh?”
“Pretty much. Your own station’s promoting the hell out of it. They’re talking about offering a poster of Dr. O’s foot hitting your jaw as part of a giveaway. Do you have any idea how I could get one?”
“Not in this lifetime.” Matt dropped the call and punched up the next.
“This isGuy Talk. You’re on the air.”
“Matt, you’re not looking so good at the moment, buddy.”
“I’m okay.”
“Maybe, but you’re giving us guys a bad name. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you hit the floor. I’m donating a carton of Wheaties in your name. And half a dozen cans of spinach.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. And if you’d like a little free advice, you ought to dismantle the punching bag while she’s asleep and the boxing gloves definitely belong in the dumpster.”
“Yeah. Great plan. And maybe I can glue her feet to the floor to give myself an extra advantage, huh?” Matt dropped the call just as Olivia wandered out of her bedroom and headed for the kitchen. “Wimps, all of you,” he finished. “Sometimes you just have to take it on the chin ... or jaw, like a man.”
Without a word, Olivia picked up her headphones, plugged them into the board, and walked into the kitchen to put a kettle on to boil. He’d just opened his mouth to comment when he noticed the new message scrolling across his monitor. Instead of the usual caller name and opinion, his producer had simply typed “va-va-va-voom.” Matt put the mystery caller on the air.
“You’re onGuy Talk. But if you’re calling to harass me about kissing the carpet, I’m not interested.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t do that.” The voice was female and sultry, not his usual brand of caller at all. “I’m actually calling to offer my sympathies.”
Matt sat up straighter in his seat. “Sympathy? Now that’s been in short supply tonight.”
“I sure do hope your jaw is feeling better, Matt. And I’ll tell you something else. If I were locked up with a big, strong man like you, I wouldn’t be wasting my energy on a punching bag.”
He cut his gaze toward the kitchen and caught a glimpse of Olivia standing stock-still, her hand outstretched toward the kettle.
“Now that’s exactly what I was telling the good doctor before she laid me low.” He leaned in closer to the microphone and let his tone grow as intimate as his caller’s. “You’d never knock a guy out, would you?"
“Oh, no. I prefer totiremy men out.”
Matt kept his gaze trained on Olivia, who was still doing her statue imitation despite the now-howling teakettle.
“It’s good to hear there are women out there who still know how to be women.”
He bit back a grin as Olivia’s jaw clenched.