Page 16 of You Will Never Be Me

Lilibeth’s eyes widen with appreciation, and she nods. “It really is.”

“Trust me, I know. I used to do beauty influencing, too, and it is a tough industry to be in. No joke. And you’re one of the few people who do it so well.”

“Oh, I love you!” she cries. “People always assume it’s so easy to do—”

“If it’s so easy, then why don’t they all do it?”

“Oh my god, right?” she laughs. “Thank you. So you used to be in beauty as well?”

“Yeah, but honestly, I was nowhere near as good as you.”

“Aww, I’m sure you’re amazing at it.”

“Eh. But it’s okay, I’ve found my niche now.” I gaze at Luca with affection and stroke his round face. “This little guy.”

Lilibeth’s hand flies to her chest and sheawws.

“Yeah, I’m posting about mom life—my day-to-day life with Luca here, trying to build my brand and, well, trying to date as a single mom. The dating isn’t going so well, as you can see,” I say with an eye roll.

“That sounds awesome. Actually, the person I was supposed to be meeting here is a momfluencer too.”

“Oh? Which one?”

“Aspen Palmer?”

I keep my face blank. I shake my head. “Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell.” I pick up my phone, open up Instagram, and show it to her. “Could you type in her handle for me?” The page is on my profile instead of my feed, and I’m crossing my fingers internally that she’ll glance at my profile before doing a search for Aspen.

Lilibeth takes my phone, and her eyes widen. “Wow, girl, youdidn’t mention you’re a major player too! So close to a million followers.”

“Oh.” I shrug. “That’s nothing.” It pains me to say that, but hey, needs must.

“That is not nothing,” Lilibeth says. She scrolls down my profile, looking through my posts. Fortunately, when Aspen and I had our fight, I deleted all of the posts that featured Aspen from my profile. In the last couple of years or so, there hadn’t even been that many posts featuring Aspen. Oh no, she’d grown too big to collaborate with me by then. “I love your vibe. It’s very similar to Aspen’s, actually, but more authentic.”

My cheeks grow warm with delight. “Authentic” is probably the highest form of praise you could give an influencer, and to be called authentic in comparison to Aspen is icing on the cake.

“Thank you. Yeah, I try to be as authentic as I can. I want to empower other women, not make them feel like they’re somehow failing.” Luca finishes his bottle right on time, so I pick him up and settle him over my shoulder. “This little guy is an angel, but he can also be a handful, and I want to show all of that, not just the highlights.”

Lilibeth reaches out and squeezes one of Luca’s chunky thighs. “Oh, he is precious. I love this video of your morning routine. Oh gosh, imagine waking up to that sweet face every morning.”

I nod. “I know, he’s so cute in the mornings.” Actually, Luca is a nightmare most mornings. He wakes up already hangry, screaming for the breast, and usually he’ll projectile vomit his first feed. Then I’ll latch him to my other breast, and that one he’ll keep down. By the time I’ve burped him and changed him out of his dirty diaper and PJs and cleaned up his vomit, all I want to dois flop onto the couch and sleep away the morning. But of course, thanks to Aspen’s behind-the-scenes videos, I now know how to create a morning routine video that is pleasant and relaxing to watch. Ever since imitating Aspen’s videos two weeks ago, I’ve gained almost a hundred thousand followers. Again, the thought makes the anger sear my skin. Aspen could’ve told me this so much sooner. Could’ve spared me so much heartache.

Lilibeth cocks her head to one side, studying me and Luca for a moment. “You know,” she says, “I am glad that Aspen flaked today. Because I would rather work with you. You’re authentic, your profile is a lot less manufactured, and you’re up and coming. I want to support newer voices, not ones that are already super popular.”

I resist the urge to tell her that I’ve been influencing a lot longer than Aspen has. Boy, that took a lot of self-restraint. Instead, I widen my eyes and say, “Oh wow, really? I mean, I would love to work with you.”

“For sure!” she cries. “And look at you, you’re beautiful. I would love to do your hair and makeup. I can already think of at least three different looks for you.”

I so badly want to leap out of my seat and scream and dance around but somehow manage to compose myself. “That would be amazing. Yes, let’s do a collab! I want to help promote you too. Like I said, I love your account. Oh, maybe we could do a bunch of looks that moms on the go can do?”

Lilibeth’s face lights up. “Perfect! Yes, we can do a series of tutorials with me doing your hair and makeup, and then a follow-up with you doing it yourself to show how accessible the looks are.”

“Bonus points if it’s a look that you can do one-handed, so Ican carry this little guy on my hip while doing it,” I say, gesturing at Luca, who’s dozed off on my shoulder.

“Aww, yes, of course. I love this!” She practically squeals it. “Oh, Meredith, this is total kismet. I’m so glad we both got stood up. Is that okay to say?”

I grin and lift my glass of neon green juice. “To being stood up.”

“And finding something better.”

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