Page 51 of Well, That Was Unexpected

“You’re not,” I say automatically. Sharlot shakes her head.

“I am. I’m no better than those obnoxious Americans who insist that America’s the best country in the world when they’ve never been outside of it.” She releases her breath. “You have no idea how shitty I feel about how I’ve treated my mom this whole time, especially when it comes to anything that has to do with Indonesia.”

The expression on her face is so raw, so unguarded, that I have an inexplicable urge to wrap my arms around her shoulders. I have to fight to keep my hands still. “To tell you the truth, I haven’t exactly been the best son either.” I think of Papa and how hard he’s tried to mold me into a better kid, and it fills me with so many conflicting emotions, all of them confusing. “Ever since my mom passed away, my dad’s been trying so hard to—I don’t know—make sure that I’m okay? He went to therapy with me for a while, which is really rare here. There’s still a whole stigma about seeking help for mental health, especially back then, so to have him go with me was like, whoa.” I cringe at the memory of the media fallout that had caused.

“Oh shit, that sounds awful, George.”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad. The news sites were filled with storiesabout how my dad must be emotionally unstable and what did that mean for the family company?”

“God, that must have been so hard.”

“I actually don’t remember much of this. I only found out because I Googled my name a few years ago and found all these news articles about it.”

“That’s terrible!”

“It’s okay, my dad and I had a long talk about it. I think he did the best he could. Good thing the family had his back. Especially Eighth Aunt. She took over everything for a while. It gave us the time we needed to—well, fall apart, basically.”

Sharlot nods. “Not to compare it to what you went through, obviously, because that was a million times worse, but yeah, I feel like I need some time and space to fall apart a little.”

“Is there a reason why you need to fall apart?” I’m trying to be careful with my words, because I sense that we’re circling some huge issue that she’s too scared to tell me, and I want to be there for her.

“So many,” Sharlot snorts. “The whole reason we came here was—uh.” She hesitates, her forehead scrunching up, then she quickly says, “Never mind, it’s stupid. I’ll tell you next time. All you need to know is that I messed up, and here I am. And it’s just been this constant whirlwind and I wish I had some time to stop and just…breathe. I guess it’s partly why I’ve been so horrible toward my mom.”

“I think, at the end of the day, our folks know we’re trying our best, just like they are.”

“I haven’t, though. I haven’t tried at all with my mom. Backhome, I’m always just yelling at her over the smallest stuff.” She snorts and grimaces. “I even yelled at her over juice, can you believe that? Juice!”

I think of all the things I’ve freaked out at Papa over. “That sounds ridiculous, but it’s the exact sort of thing that my dad and I argue over, so yeah, I believe it.”

She laughs. “I can’t imagine you arguing with your dad over anything.”

“Oh, trust me, we definitely do.”

Smiling, we stare out at the view before us, watching the waves crash into the cliffs. I watch Sharlot from the corner of my eye and marvel at how strong of a bond I feel toward her now, after just a day of talking to her. She’s been one of the best surprises of my life.

After some time, she gives a relieved sigh. “Thanks for letting me thought-vomit all over you. I hadn’t realized how much that stuff with my mom has been weighing me down.”

“Anytime.”

We look at each other and it’s like the final wall has finally crumbled and I’m seeing all of Sharlot for the first time. She’s flawed and broken and more beautiful than ever. My throat goes dry. Everything stops. The world stops spinning on its axis, pausing to hold its breath for us. Expectation clings to the air, making it heavy on my skin. Both of our hands are resting on the short stone wall. I inch mine forward and she moves hers just a tad closer as well. Another centimeter, and the tips of our fingers are touching. Such a small, innocent touch, but it sets my whole body on fire. My heart is thumping so ferociously that I’m sure she canfeel it on my fingertips. And then—miracle of miracles—Sharlot takes my hand, interlacing our fingers together. She glances up at me with a shy smile before looking back at the horizon, and we stand there for a long time, not saying a word but somehow communicating so much more than we ever did before.

After a while, we walk along the cliff side, still holding hands, and it feels as though something has opened up between us. Our conversation flows so smoothly that I can barely keep up with everything that I want to say to her. I tell her everything, about Mama and how much I miss her, about how guilty I feel that I’m not more like the male heir my family has always wanted.

Well, almost everything.

Everything except the one thing that matters the most, the truth about how she and I met. The very beginning, the foundation of our friendship. I should tell her. I feel it wriggling in my head like a pale worm, its bristles scraping against my skull, itching to be told. It’s only a matter of time before I cave, and why not now? Something tells me that she’ll be receptive to it, that she’ll understand how overbearing Papa and Eleanor are, especially when they join forces against me. She’ll know it wasn’t done with malicious intent.

“Shar, I need to tell you something.”

The words bypass my brain and come out sounding like they’re being said by someone else. I don’t even recognize my voice.

Sharlot stops walking and turns to me, the sun at her back and casting a glow around her. She looks so incredibly beautiful. I take a mental picture of her, trying to memorize everythingabout this moment that I’m about to ruin with my shameful lie. I clear my throat.

“What is it?” she says after a pregnant pause, smiling up at me. It hurts, that she’s not expecting anything bad. It hurts knowing that I’m about to hurt her.

“Um. You know how we met on ShareIt?”

Her little smile freezes for a second. “Yeah?”

---