Page 23 of Well, That Was Unexpected

Nainai glances at me before looking away again, obviously uninterested.

“Very lovely,” Rina says, her shark grin widening. “And she is…”

George stares at me in a panic. I stare back, probably also with that deer-about-to-turn-into-venison expression. In hindsight, I could’ve said I’m a school friend or a cousin twice removed or literally anything else. But in that moment, the only thing my mind spits out is CATFISH! FAKE! FRAUD!

Eighth Aunt grabs my shoulders and turns me to face the cameras. Then she says, “His girlfriend, of course!”

Nainai gasps, her head whipping back to face me. My mouth drops open. The camera shutter clicks.

The last thing I need is another superstrong Indonesian coffee laced with enough palm sugar to give an elephant a sugar rush, but I seem to have completely lost my voice. So here I am, back at Kopi-Kopi, this time with George, his grandmother, his aunt (the eighth one, apparently), and a TV/magazine/newspaper crew. I have yet to figure out whatAsian Wealthactually is, and it seems rude to ask.

“So George, OneLiner is the first app your family is releasing with you as the face of it. Are you excited?” Rina says.

George to his credit seems to have recovered a little from his initial shock, and now I’m seeing a whole new side of him that I never would’ve thought could exist. He gives her a smile so easily charming and confident that I wonder how many times he’s practiced it in the mirror. It works, anyway. Rina returns it with a slight blush. Not bad, George. Not bad. “Yeah, I’m very excited. And it’s such a necessary app, you know? I hate to say it, but a lot of us have grown up with the whole boys-will-be-boys mindset, which is really harmful.”

Rina nods. “Yes, toxic masculinity is a subject we’ve tackled here atAsian Wealth.”

Really? Color me shocked. No offense to Rina, but I wouldn’t have expected a publication calledAsian Wealthto touch on anything outside of finance.

Eighth Aunt nods and says, “With OneLiner, we hope to educate boys on how to be proper gentlemen. We’ve spoken with the education minister about including it in the schools’curriculum, and everyone who’s used it has been impressed. I daresay there are many grown men who could use a bit of time with OneLiner.” She throws her head back and laughs. Rina laughs along with her, so I titter politely as well.

Titter. I literally titter. It sounds like something between a squeak and a laugh and makes me want to punch myself in the face. Instead, I poke viciously at the ice in my coffee with my battered straw.

“You must be so proud of your boyfriend, Sharlot,” Rina says. “Not many boys are so passionate about this subject.” She smiles at George. “I’m so happy for you, George. I’m proud to have you representing the Chinese youth community here. You’re an amazing role model. He’s a favorite amongst our younger audience, male and female alike.”

George smiles, but is it just me or do his eyes look somewhat panicky?

“Mm-hmm.” I take a long sip of my coffee to avoid having to say anything, but Rina is unrelenting.

“So, tell me, Sharlot, how long have you and George been seeing each other? Do you go to Xingfa as well?”

I shake my head, my mouth still stubbornly around the straw.

“Oh? How do you two know each other?”

The worst sound in the world fills my ears. The sound of a straw desperately sucking at an empty cup. NOOO. I have run out of coffee with which to cover up my silence! Jesus wept. Oh god. Now what?

As the millionth thought fires through my head in less thana second, it strikes me that I should’ve asked for decaf. But too late now.

“We, uh—this is kind of dorky—but we actually met online.”

“It was on this program for, um, really hardworking teens, it’s called, um—” George practically shouts. “It’s called Hardworking Teens?”

“Yeah, that’s right,” I babble. “You wouldn’t be able to find it online, it was a long time ago.” What are these words falling out of my mouth? Somebody stop me.

“Oh, wow, so you two have known each other for a while, then?”

I nod with such vigor I almost break my neck. Is it the crazy amount of caffeine? The sugar? The adrenaline? The cameras? Psych, it’s ALL OF THE ABOVE! Okay, please calm down, self. “Oh yeah, totally. George and I have known each other forever!” What? No, we haven’t. We literally met half an hour ago. Oh my god, what is wrong with me? I reach under the table and pinch my thigh so hard that tears spring into my eyes. The pain is bad, but also good because it forces my thoughts to slow down a bit.

“Is George your first-ever boyfriend?”

Fuck no, I almost blurt out. I’m seventeen, lady, not seven. But again, I realize that I’m in a very different culture and the way that everyone is watching me now makes me bite my tongue before I can tell them that I’ve been in plenty of other relationships. Plus, Mama had told George over chat that I’ve never had a boyfriend before. “Uh. Yeah…? He is?”

Eighth Aunt nods with a satisfied smile. “That’s because she’sa good girl, you can tell, can’t you? You can just tell that Sharlot is a proper, good girl.”

I try not to squirm under their approving smiles.

“Is this true?” Nainai says. “You have known this girl forever?” Her voice is gentle, but there’s something about Nainai that arrests everyone’s attention.

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