Page 17 of Well, That Was Unexpected

I swallow the rest of my laughter and try to look like I’m paying attention.

“I knew a Tanuwijaya when I was young,” Mama muses.

“Probably a different Tanuwijaya,” Kiki says dismissively. “You’d know if you were friends with the Tanuwijayas. They’re Indonesia’s second-wealthiest family? I think they were number seven last year inForbes Asia.”

“Ah yes, definitely different Tanuwijayas,” Mama says. “My friend Shu Ling so secretive about her family background. My parents told me it must be because she was so poor, so she was embarrassed of her family.”

“Well, these Tanuwijayas are the opposite of poor. We’re talking the real Crazy Rich Asians. Old money, not like those Singaporean tech and finance guys. Money from the Dutch days.”

“Dutch days?” I echo uselessly. Kiki stares so hard at me I cringe. “What?” I hate how defensive I sound.

She turns the stare on Mama, who flinches too. Geez, Kiki can be scary when she wants to be. “Auntie, you never told her the history of Indonesia?”

“She never wanted to learn,” Mama sniffs.

“Uh, not true,” I pipe up. “I used to want to learn, but you were always shooting me down, so I got tired of it.”

Kiki holds up her hands. “Doesn’t matter. Okay, quick lesson: Late fifteen hundreds, the Dutch came and colonized Indonesia. A ton of Chinese immigrants were already here, and they were hired by the Dutch as skilled artisans. Those are our ancestors, in case you haven’t figured.”

“I have,” I bite out, sounding a lot like a surly toddler.

“They didn’t just stay skilled artisans, though. The Chinese were entrepreneurs and were, like, obsessed with improving their guanxi.”

I must have looked confused by this, because Kiki rolls her eyes and says, “Is your Chinese as bad as your Indonesian?Guanxijust means ‘relationships.’ We’re obsessed with building good relationships with others. Specifically, business relationships. Our ancestors strengthened guanxi with a ton of other Chinese immigrants in Southeast Asia, trading and building and working their asses off, and by the time the Dutch left, almost all businesses in Indonesia were owned by Chinese.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Kiki nods. “That’s also why even though the Chinese make up only two percent of Indonesia’s population, we now own seventy percent of its wealth. There have been laws put into place to curb the wealth of Chinese Indos, but it’s kind of hard to curb such a huge head start. Obviously it’s unfair for the native Indonesians. I hope that we can find a way to fix the inequality somehow. The Tanuwijayas are one of these old Chinese Indonesian families. They own everything—coal mines, palm tree and coffee plantations, real estate. And they manufacture everything—plastics, pipelines, houses. Lately they’re branching out into tech. They literally do everything.”

“You fooled some billionaire’s kid?” I say to Ma, who’s staring with mouth agape at Kiki.

“I didn’t know—I—”

“Not just some billionaire’s kid,” Kiki adds, her grin widening. “George Clooney is the only Tanuwijaya boy in his generation.”

“The only boy?” Mama says, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline.

“What’s wrong with that?” I say.

Kiki sighs. “Gosh, Auntie, you really haven’t told her anything, have you?” She turns to face me. “The Chinese Indo community is super traditional. Some families more than others. The patriarchy is definitely far from being smashed here. You know, when George was born, they threw a banquet so stupidly lavish and over the top it was on the news. So, Auntie, you didn’t just trick some billionaire’s kid, you tricked some billionaire’s only male heir.”

Mama and I stare at each other in horror.

“Are we in danger?” I manage to choke out after a while.

“Of course not. Don’t be so melodramatic, my dear,” Auntie Janice says, striding in.

Mama and I gape at her. Sure enough, there is a literal stethoscope hanging from her neck.

For someone who’s just scolded us for being melodramatic, Auntie Janice gives averydramatic sigh before flopping onto the chaise longue. My bedroom is suddenly very full of people.

“Really now, Kiki, why do you always have to paint everything in the most dire way possible?” Auntie Janice shakes her head. “You just made it all sound so threatening, as though your auntie Qing Pei has done something awful, instead of commending her for landing such a catch.”

“I—I didn’t mean to,” Ma stammers. I’ve never seen her this unnerved, and it’s unnerving to see. “I didn’t—I wasn’t seeing him as a catch like that. I just thought he was a nice boy.”

“Well, he is,” Kiki says. “I hear things about him. He’s not like one of those gross jocks or anything. He doesn’t drive flashy cars or whatever.”

She has Auntie Janice’s full attention. “You know him and you never told Mami?”

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