Page 45 of Four Aunties and a Wedding

Big Aunt and Fourth Aunt freeze, their eyes widening. “Shit,” Fourth Aunt mutters.

My first thought is that he called the cops, but then I recall that he said “ko” into the phone. “Save me, ko,” or something like that. “Koko” means “big brother” in Indonesian. “He was calling Big Uncle,” I say.

“Ssh,” Fourth Aunt puts a finger to her lips, and we all stand there for a second. I’m about to ask what’s going on when I hear it—footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

“Aduh, and just about to make tea,” Big Aunt complains.

Fourth Aunt walks briskly over to the electric kettle, picks it up, and stands behind the door. She catches my eye and puts a finger to her lips.

There’s a loud knock on the door, the kind of knock that says,Open up or else.

“Open the door! I know you’re in there!” Big Uncle’s voice booms.

Ignoring the nauseating twist in my gut, I peer through the peephole. “He’s alone.”

Fourth Aunt nods at me and whispers, “Then open the door.”

“Don’t—” I have no idea what to say to her. “Uh—try not to kill him?”

She shrugs.

I open the door, then jump back as Big Uncle barrels through the doorway. “Where my brother?”

“No shouting,” Big Aunt snaps, and somehow, against all reason, Big Uncle pauses.

A flicker of something crosses his face. It takes a moment for me to realize what it is: fear. He’s scared of Big Aunt. Then his gaze moves to me and the fear melts into a sneer.

“You,” he snarls, “you not do enough damage?” He steps toward me and I step backward.

“You stop there, you not move closer,” Big Aunt says in her most authoritative voice, and again, Big Uncle hesitates.

“Hendry dimana?” he says.

Big Aunt’s eyes shoot to the other side of the bed, where Second Uncle lies unconscious on the floor. Big Uncle follows her gaze and his eyes widen, and now his fury has been well and truly replaced by fear.

“I—is he—sorry, Lao Da, I didn’t—” He takes one step back, and that’s when Fourth Aunt silently slinks out from behind the door and brings down the kettle on his head.

There’s only a small, underwhelmingthud,and the next thing I know, Big Uncle topples over like a fallen tree. He smacks onto the floor so hard it makes even Fourth Aunt grimace.

“Do the mirror thing, Meddy,” Fourth Aunt says as she walks past his prone body and replaces the kettle on the stand.She flicks the switch and smiles with satisfaction as the light comes on. “Still works! These Brits know how to make their kettles last.”

This isn’t real. This can’t be real, my mind warbles, but somehow my body listens to Fourth Aunt and steps gingerly toward Big Uncle. I crouch low and, with a trembling hand, hold the compact mirror to his nose. A moment later, it fogs up. I sag with relief. “He’s alive.”

“Good, no bad luck,” Big Aunt says. She pats Fourth Aunt on the hand. “Very good hit, Mimi. You knock him out so fast, very good.”

Fourth Aunt simpers, practically preening.

“I’m sorry, am I the only one freaking out about the two men we nearly just killed?”

“Tsk, I didn’t hit him hard enough to kill him,” Fourth Aunt says. “If he dies it’s his own fault for having a thin skull.”

“No, if he dies, it’s literally our fault!” I flop onto the bed and quickly discover that flopping isn’t an option in my humongous dress. The fluffy material makes me slide off the bed, and it takes quite a bit of maneuvering before I’m able to perch on the bed. “What are we going to do with them?”

“Well, tie them up, for starters,” Fourth Aunt mutters. “Ugh, why is this electric kettle taking so long to boil?”

“Patience,” Big Aunt says. She’s already taking out the packets of tea and is placing them primly into the teacups.

“Can we stop with the tea for a second and figure out what to do?” I snap.

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