Page 70 of Dial A for Aunties

“It’s weed,” Fourth Aunt says, triumphantly.

“WHAT?” Good grief, I don’t even know where to begin. There’s the fact that my mother has drugged a dozen groomsmen. Or maybe the fact that my mother carries around a stash of marijuana with her. What in the actual F??

“No, no, it is traditional Chinese medicine,” Ma huffs. Spare me from yet another round of sibling rivalry.

“Traditional Chinese medicine doesn’t include marijuana!” I almost scream, but at the last minute remember to lower my voice.

“No, original recipe call for a type of fungus—it is called dong chong xia cao,” Ma admits. “But wah, dong chong xia cao soexpensive! So I look everywhere for substitute, and then someone on Internet tell me there is this very good herb, called Tetris Hydro Canned Oil. Very good for pain.”

“She means tetrahydrocannabinol,” Fourth Aunt says. Fleetingly, I wonder if she’s memorized what THC stands for just for this moment.

“THC? Ma, that’s the active ingredient in marijuana!” Oh my god.

“No, this one is different. This herb is very good for blood flow, you know how winter really affect my bones, very bad, so painful, these are helping me. It has a bit of side effect, make me feel a bit woozy.”

“They get you high,” Fourth Aunt says.

“No high, just a bit woozy.”

I close my eyes. “So between the two of you, those poor groomsmen got drunk AND high? You could’ve killed them!”

“Aduh, touch wood, don’t say such bad luck thing,” Second Aunt says, knocking on a nearby tree.

“Don’t say such bad luck thing?” I cry, torn between laughing and crying. “I mean, it’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?”

“Tch,” Ma tuts, “don’t be rude, Meddy. I raise you better than that.”

This is unreal. Another deep gulp of air. “Right, so you guys drugged the groomsmen, and then...”

“And then we leave, that is all,” Ma says. “When we leave they all still happy happy, all laughing.”

“But how did Ah Guan end up on the altar?”

My aunts and mom shrug, but I don’t need them to answer. I can piece it together by now. I see it so clearly in my mind’s eye. One of the groomsmen would’ve gotten a call from a panicky WP, asking where the hell are they, the ceremony’s starting soon. They would’ve scrambled to get dressed. The room would’ve beenspinning, they would’ve been stumbling everywhere, and then one of them maybe went in the bedroom to get something and saw Ah Guan in bed. I watch it unfold like a movie in my mind. He totters to Ah Guan and nudges him. Figures that maybe Ah Guan had passed out, and in his absinthe-marijuana-addled mind, he thinks the best course of action is to drag Ah Guan to the ceremony. He calls the others inside to help, and one other groomsman appears. Together, they lug Ah Guan out of bed, laughing over what a lightweight he is. The floor tips under their feet and they nearly fall, but it’s all part of the fun. They no longer even know which side is up.

And that’s how a corpse ended up on the altar.

28

The minute Ma and my aunties finish filling me in on what’s happened behind the scenes, they erupt into argument with a flurry of Mandarin, Indonesian, and English.

Big Aunt: “Tuh kan? You see, this is what happens when you don’t listen to me!”

Second Aunt: “Ha! You’re just jealous because for once, I take control of the situation, we’re not just following you around like zombies.”

Ma: “Why did you give them so much absinthe? They’re not drunkards, like you!”

Fourth Aunt: “Excuse me, it’s not my fault if the groomsmen can’t hold their alcohol. And also, I wasn’t the one who drugged them.”

This is so typical of them. Big Aunt and Second Aunt with their rivalry, Ma and Fourth Aunt with their jealousy. I can’t take another second of it, so while they argue with one another, I stalk off.

As though to reflect our mood, the wind’s picked up and is howling like a grieving widow. It snatches at my ponytail, whipping it into my face. Up to this point, the adrenaline has rendered me oblivious to my surroundings, but now, I realize that I’m freezing in my wet clothes. My teeth are actually chattering, and each breath I take makes my jaw clack. I hug the towel around me tight and walk toward the infinity pool. I’m dreading the sight of what was going on while I took stock with my family, but I have to. I have to know.

I’m half-expecting the scene to be crawling with cops, to hear the wail of sirens and see the red and blue lights flashing. But when I get there, the place is almost devoid of people. The hotel’s security team is ushering the last remaining guests away from the site, telling everyone in stern voices to go back to their rooms and stay put. Jacqueline and Tom—thank god—are nowhere to be seen. I check my phone and see half a dozen messages from Seb, telling me he’s been ordered to go back to his room. My heart skips a beat when I spot Nathan on the stage, his tall profile silhouetted against the stormy sky. He’s staring down at the body, and from my vantage point, it’s impossible to see the expression on his face. His back is straight, but his head is bowed as though he’s deep in thought.

“Miss, please, you need to return to your room,” a guard says.

Nathan turns and sees me. “No, she’s fine, she’s with me,” he calls out, hurrying toward us.

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