“Which is bananas,” Moni said. “I mean, it’s a college guy. From Stanford.”
“Ooh, Stanford!” Josh sang, his hands clasped under his chin.
“Shut up, Josh,” Moni said without looking at him. “C’mon, Hannah, we’re pushing you for your own good here. You need to live a little.”
Hannah sighed and slurped up a noodle with a small shrug.
“Is your brother going to be at the party?” I asked.
She shook her head, her corkscrew curls bouncing. “He’s doing a semester abroad in Paris.”
“Her brother is like, so protective over her,” Tonya said. “He’d probably microchip her if he could, so he’d know where she is all the time.”
Hannah bit her lip to stifle a laugh. “Stop, he’s really not that bad.”
“Oh, yeah, he is,” Moni said. “So now that he’s away, it’s time for lil’ sis to go out and play. Right, Delilah?”
Three pairs of eyes rested on my face. I looked at them, my mind flailing wildly. How the hell would I know? I was about to mumble something about not having a clue when I realized I did have something to say. Hannah was shy and retiring. You could tell she’d been brought up on a steady diet of “girls should be seen and not heard.” Every time she laughed, she covered her mouth, as though laughter had to be hidden.
And some guy thought it was a good idea to invite her to a frat party, a place where she’d be outmatched and alone in a house full of strangers. I didn’t even know the guy and already I wanted to punch him in the face.
“Actually, I think the party’s a terrible idea.” My voice came out like a spoon clanging on crystal—too sharp, too noticeable.Tone it down. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tone it down after Brandon, after Logan—I glanced at him, two seats down, laughing with his buddies, and something inside me hardened. “Frat parties are basically a cesspool of horny guys drunk on privilege and booze trying to get girls dead-drunk so they can take advantage of them. I mean, sure, that’s a stereotype, and I’m sure some frat parties are nice and some frat guys respect women or whatever, but this guy is asking a high school girl to come on her own to a place where she’ll be completely surrounded by his friends. I don’t think you should go. Not without a shitload of pepper spray and a couple of Tasers.”
By the time I finished my speech, they were all staring at me with mouths open. Crap. I’d gone too far. I shouldn’t have said all those things.
Moni let out a bark. It took me a second to realize she was laughing. My face burned, until she reached out and gave me a one-armed hug.
“Delilah, that was fucking awesome!” she said.
Even Tonya was nodding, her mouth stretched into a grudging smile. “I have to admit, when you put it that way, it doesn’t seem like such a great idea.” She leaned closer to me. “Hey, anyone ever told you that you look a lot like So—”
She was quickly shushed by Moni, who glared at her. “I’m sorry,” Moni said. “Ignore her.”
I was about to ask who Tonya was about to say I looked like when Hannah said, “Thanks. I really like him, but like, I didn’t feel good about the invitation and I couldn’t put my finger on it. You said it perfectly.”
“Damn, now I feel bad for pushing you to get with him,” Tonya said.
“Aww, no, don’t feel bad!” Hannah said. She leaned into Tonya. “You just don’t want me to miss out on life experiences.”
“You can miss out on this one,” Tonya said, and the two of them laughed, and Tonya reached out and gave me a fist bump.
I couldn’t hold back my smile. I’d never wanted to join the cool crowd, never coveted a spot at this table.
But the girls’ approval gave me a surprisingly sweet burst of joy.They like me, they really do! They think I give good advice!I wanted to bite my lip and giggle and tell Aisha—
Aisha.
What with Mendez’s surprise visit and then Logan’s surprise visit and then being forced to sit with his friends for lunch, I hadn’t had a chance to think of Aisha. I twisted in my seat to look at my usual lunch table. I caught Aisha’s eye, but she turned away as soon as our eyes met.
Logan was watching me with a little smile, smug and secure in the knowledge that his friends would charm me into a false sense of acceptance. My gaze flicked to Tonya, Moni, and Hannah, now discussing their college applications. Every move they made, every hair toss, every laugh, every hand wave became suspicious.Do they know? Do they know Logan’s blackmailing me?
“Which colleges are you applying to, Delilah?” Moni said.
Like hell I would tell any of them anything. “Um, the usual. The UCs and maybe Stanford, I don’t know,” I muttered and kept my eyes on my food so no one would be interested in talking to me.
I hated them all, the fun guys and the cool girls, even sweet Hannah. They must know. They’d been his friends for years. Part of them must be aware what he was capable of. But the way they interacted with one another over lunch was so easygoing, so casual and light, like everything was sunshine and flowers…which only made it worse. They all thought Logan was a Nice Guy. They loved him, you could see it from the way they shifted their bodies to face him slightly when he sat down, the way they watched him when he talked. They were under his spell. I couldn’t blame them. Logan was fizz and fireworks. Beneath the model good looks was a brain bursting with brilliance. Delicious sharp-edged wit, an intense stare that made you feel like he was truly listening to what you were saying. Irresistible. I knew what it was like to be under his spell, to be sucked into the Logan vortex.
I stood up abruptly. Conversation around me ceased. “Sorry, I just remembered I need to um—I have this assignment for world history. Anyway, I’ll see you guys around.” Logan started to get up. “No!” I snapped.Oops. I tried again. More sugar this time. “I really need to finish my essay. Thanks for, um—thanks for this.” I gestured at the table. “Bye!”