Page 2 of The Obsession

I struggled to pay attention to Josh’s incessant chatter. I wasn’t imagining it; there was definitely a strained quality to his cheerfulness, like he was determined to talk to me the way he used to be able to.

What was he even going on about? Something about hooking up with a French girl over the summer.Try harder!I’d lost so many friends over the past year. I couldn’t afford to lose Josh, too.

“Sounds hot,” I said. That was the most I could come up with.

Josh laughed like I’d just said something exceptional. “Yeah, man! It was totally hot!” He gave me his usual not-a-care-in-the-world grin, but I didn’t miss the flash of concern in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if he was worried about me or about his own social status.

Someone shouted as we made our way across the quad, catching my attention. A handful of sophomores were playing with a Frisbee in the commons. They leapt and ran like gleeful Labradors. I watched them and wondered what it was like to be so invested in a game. I used to be into this stuff too, but for the life of me, now I couldn’t remember what that felt like. Distracted, I started when I bumped into someone.

No, not someone. Her.

My phone slipped out of my hand, and the screen lit up when it bounced on the ground.

9:01 a.m.

I’d remember those exact numbers for the rest of my life—the exact time, down to the minute, when the universe lifted its slow, giant hand, reached straight through my skull and into the center of my brain, and said, “You’ve gone through enough, Logan. Here she is. I am delivering her to you personally. She is all yours.”

I wanted to grab her, feel her warm flesh beneath my fingers, and check if she was real. Her face was eerily similar to Sophie’s, and they swam in my mind and overlapped.

“I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, and her eyes met mine for a split second. She crouched down and picked up my phone. “I hope I didn’t break it.” Her voice was sincere and shy, and she was biting her lower lip slightly, her eyebrows furrowed like she was genuinely worried, and god, I wanted tell her it was okay. Everything was okay because she was here, and I bet she tasted like strawberries at the height of summer.

I searched my mind for something memorable to say, something to put a smile on those lips of hers.

“You did.”

Oh god, why did I say that? It was true that there was a giant crack on my phone, but really,who gives a shit?

Panic crossed her face. “I’m so sorry! I’ll, um, I’ll pay you back—um, but it might have to be in installments—”

Were those tears in her eyes? Holy crap. “It’s fine,” I said. I meant it to come out reassuring, but it came out gruff. I might as well be hobbling, waving my cane, and yelling at kids to get off my lawn.

Josh must have sensed the disaster (finally!), because he laughed and said, “Don’t worry about it. Logan here can afford, like, a million of these things.”

I wanted to throttle him. I at least had the excuse of the Sophie fog. Josh was just a massive idiot. He probably thought he was making the situation better, like telling girls my family was loaded would help me get laid.

The girl’s forehead turned red, and her entire face shut down.

FuckingJoshfuckingguidancecounselorfucking—

“I’m so, so sorry, I—” Her voice cracked a little.

I couldn’t bear to see her perfect face so tortured. I mumbled something about it being okay and walked away. I didn’t look back, even though her presence, her aura, everything about her, burned a hole in my back. And I was left alone with Josh. Josh, who couldn’t possibly grasp what had just happened, how the skies had parted so the universe could bring down this gift to me. And how I’d royally messed it all up.

I fed Josh some bullshit about how I wasn’t feeling well, though in fact I was feeling like I’d come back to life. Mortified, yes, but mortification was better than being a zombie. I bounded after her. Hungry, famished really, to catch more of her. She disappeared into Wheeler Hall, where the science classes were located, and when I pushed through the double doors, I was greeted by a sea of students, all tanned skin and newly dyed hair.

I’d lost her.

I spent the next period hiding in one of the restrooms at Wheeler so no one would notice I was cutting class. It wasn’t like I could explain why I had to do this. No one would understand. They’d judge me again. Just like Mom did, when she found all those pictures and videos of Sophie. Not that it mattered; this was all in the past. It was as though everything that had happened with Sophie was to prepare me for this girl. I closed my eyes and thought of her.

Though guys like Josh wouldn’t find her hot, I noticed her subtle beauty. She looked half-Asian, half-white. Sophie was of Japanese descent. At first glance, the girl could have been Sophie’s sister. There were differences, though. Sophie was all about the makeup—her lips always colored and glossed, her skin smooth and airbrushed, her eyes lined so her gaze was piercing and impossible to ignore. I never once saw Sophie without makeup, even toward the end, when everyone said she was losing it. Even then, she still caked the stuff on.

This girl looked like Sophie unmasked. Fresh, naked. Maybe just a touch of balm on those heart-shaped lips. What would it be like to kiss her? To taste her?

I willed myself from thoughts of the mystery girl’s lips to the rest of her. The way she moved, the way she hunched her shoulders ever so slightly, the way she turned her head and cast her eyes downward, not quite at her feet. The flash of alarm that had sparked through her eyes when I dropped my phone. She was shy. That much was obvious. I couldn’t mess this up. I’d lost so much already.

I came out of my hiding place and stationed myself on the landing between the first and second floor. A short while later, the bell clanged and kids flooded the hallway, blocking my view. I wanted to scream at them to stop chattering, stop fucking moving—

And there she was, walking next to Aisha Johnson. So, a senior then, like me. I couldn’t not move toward her. She was so magnetic, how could all these idiots not notice her? I had to remind myself to keep some distance between us.

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