Page 54 of The Obsession

I’m swamped at the library. Rain check on our study date? xo

Warmth flooded through my chest. Nowadays, her messages were often punctuated withx’s ando’s. We still hadn’t kissed, but we were slowly getting there, we really were. I knew just what I needed. I needed Dee. The past few days, she’d been so different. She was opening up to me. Like a flower slowly blooming. After classes ended, I’d gone to my locker to find that Delilah had left me a surprise: a red velvet cupcake she’d baked. I’d eaten it then and there, grinning like an idiot the whole time. She’d been baking so many cupcakes lately, and either left them in my locker as a surprise gift or gave them to me in person, watching with an affectionate smile as I ate, asking me sweetly if they tasted okay. Whenever she was around, I felt invincible, like I could literally move faster than the speed of light. And then she’d go to class or go home or whatever, and the weight of the world would crush me. I needed her.

“Logan?” Josh said, frowning again, but his voice was coming from a distance. I supposed that wasn’t weird; we’d been drifting apart for a while now. I tuned out his meaningless chatter for a while, until he said, “—Delilah?” and suddenly, he was right next to me again, his voice coming in at a normal volume.

I snapped back to reality. “What?”

“I said, is that Delilah?” Josh pointed to a girl across the quad, walking with some guy. Though their backs were turned toward us, I knew from the way the girl moved and the way she tilted her head just so that it was her. My Delilah. But I thought she was busy at the library. The guy said something and she laughed, the sound of it carrying crystal clear even from this distance. It stabbed through my guts and twisted like a goddamn knife. And I thought things had been going so well with her.

I blinked, and I was halfway across the quad. Part of me registered that Josh was somewhere behind me, running after me and calling my name. I blinked again, and I was right behind Delilah and the guy, this fucking prick whose head I was going to bash in. I reached out to grab his shoulder—

“Logan!” Josh shouted, and the couple turned.

It wasn’t Delilah. This girl wasn’t anything like her. I vaguely recognized her as some sophomore.

“Not her,” I muttered.

“Heyyy,” Josh half gasped, half laughed as he caught up. “How’re you guys doing? You okay? Great, ha ha.” He waved at the confused couple and led me away by the arm like I was some misbehaving toddler. “What happened there, Logan?” His voice came out low and serious. Gone was Meathead Josh. Now it was Concerned Bestie Josh, and there was honestly no one I hated more than Concerned Bestie Josh who thought he knew what was best for me. I’d had enough. I knew what was best for me. It was Delilah. Delilah was everything I needed. I walked away from Josh, ignoring his stupid whines about stopping and having a chat. I had to get out of there, get some air.

I didn’t remember walking off campus, but I must’ve, because when I next blinked, I was standing outside of Dee’s house again.

What the fuck?

I knew I shouldn’t, but I wanted to be close to her, in any way I could. So I climbed the trellis again and eased myself inside. And this time, there was no one home to trap me in the bathroom.

* * *

Maybe it was fate. Maybe it was meant to be. I didn’t mean to, but now that I was here, how could I ignore the opportunity? Clearly I was meant to be here, if not by my own design, then by some cosmic interference. I was in Delilah’s bedroom. Her inner sanctuary. With no one holding me back. I could look all I wanted, touch everything I desired.

I swallowed. Forced my breathing to even out a bit. And then I looked. Really looked. And god.Delilah, your room is so, unapologetically, beautifully you.

I’d only ever seen it from outside, spying on her from across the street while she was working at her computer, nibbling at her fingernails, and bopping her head along to some music, or when she was drying her hair. I’d only caught glimpses of it. But now, the sense of her was overwhelming. I had enough presence of mind to check the time on my phone, at least. 3:28 p.m. She was still at work. She was so hardworking, my little worker bee buzzing away at her job. Her mom was also still at work. She worked in tech; their hours were brutal. So. This was really a gift from the universe, rewarding me for being such a good boy, for being ever so patient with her. I’d never even tried to kiss her, not since our first date. I knew that had to be her move.

I remained respectful, even though yes, Universe, I heard you loud and clear, and I was grateful to be led here. I walked around carefully, trailing my fingertips across her things. Her wall was plastered with all sorts of decor: there were photo frames that had been taken apart and turned into jewelry organizers, a sign in cursive that saidGood Vibes Only—which, okay, kind of basic, but I supposed no one was perfect—and photos. So many photos. I took my time looking at each one. So many of her dad, laughing, one of him at work, looking serious. She was such a daddy’s girl. A handful of her mom, who was a stunner back in the day, and then dozens of Dee and her old friends. When I was done with the pictures, I went to the jewelry organizers, touching each trinket, delighting in the knowledge that they had been on her skin, warmed by her body heat. I couldn’t help taking a souvenir. Just a small aquamarine earring she would not miss; she had so many of the things, over two dozen pairs at a glance. She’d understand that I did it because I loved her, because I couldn’t have enough of her.

Then came the drawers. I didn’t steal her panties or bra or anything like that. I wasn’t that person. I respected Dee. I worshipped her. I didn’t even touch any of her underwear, even though I wanted to. But no. I moved on. I pulled out a pair of flannel pajamas and pressed my face into it, engulfing myself in the beautiful scent of her. The pajamas were pink with pineapples on them, and fuck, I bet Delilah looked absolutely adorable in them.

I sat down on her bed. I lay down, my head right where hers was every night. I imagined her right there next to me, going to sleep. I’d watch her eyelids fluttering as she dreamed, and I damn near burst into tears because I wanted that so badly. I clutched her earring so hard that sharp pain sparked up my arm, and I started. The back of the earring had pierced my palm. These things were dangerous. She shouldn’t be wearing them. Why did she wear jewelry, anyway? She didn’t need to wear jewelry or makeup, she looked beautiful as she was, and she didn’t need to be attracting any other guy.

Another guy. The thought of the couple Josh and I had run across earlier flashed through my mind, and even though that girl had turned out to not be Delilah, my stomach lurched sickeningly. Bile rose, and I had to fight to keep it down. The last thing I wanted was to puke in Delilah’s room. But the thought of her with some other guy…

No. I couldn’t let myself even think of that possibility.

A small voice whispered,Yes, but that happened with Sophie, didn’t it? She left you for some other guy. Or guys, rather. She couldn’t have enough of them. And now with Detective Brandon Jackson out of Delilah’s life, maybe she’ll want to date around for a bit.

I put my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the voice to shut up. But it wouldn’t. It kept whispering, getting louder and louder until it was shouting, filling my entire head with its hateful words.She’ll never love you the way you love her, she’ll leave you, she’ll find a way, and you’ll never see her again.

I jumped from her bed and paced her room, muttering at the voice to shut up. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’d—

What? I’d what?

Well, I didn’t have to do anything. I had the video. She’d never dare leave me, not while I had the video of her killing Detective Jackson.

Yes, but the video is also the reason she won’t ever love you. Not truly. Because you’re blackmailing her into being with you.

I shook my head. Not true. She was in love with me, I could tell. Those XOs she left at the end of every message, those cakes…

Just a ruse. No, see, she doesn’t understand how cruel the world can be. She doesn’t know, even after the way Brandon hurt her, she doesn’t know that you’re her only sanctuary. It’s hopeless. Without you, she’ll only get hurt again. She’ll run into another bad guy. If you want her to be truly yours, forever and ever, you’ll need to make sure nothing bad ever happens to her. Her life is so chaotic right now. It needs order. It needs saving. And to save her, you need to take it, take her life—

---