Page 18 of Conri

“You got that right.You’ve been my number-one girl since then.I love you, Bethy, my dear.And I will love you until you’re by my side once again.Stay with them.Please?For me?”She asked him if he was planning on dying tonight.“No, I’m not planning on anything, but I just don’t want to waste time anymore.We’re going to live out what time we have left, like it’s the last day.I love you.So very much.”

“And I love you, too.”She hugged him, still sobbing about him not being with her when he passed away.Roger thought that she was taking this a great deal better than he would have had this been his wife and family surrounding him.“I’ll stay and try to make memories.I’m not going to even try and make you understand how much I’m going to miss you.But I do want to be able to see grandchildren.All right.”

The rest of the evening was spent talking about family.There was a great deal that he didn’t know and a lot more than he’d only heard little bits about.It made him sorry that he wasn’t spending more time with his own kids.It wasn’t as if he didn’t have time, but he’d just kept working until theydidn’t bother asking for him to come and spend time with him.Roger decided he was going to take care of that as soon as he got home.Making time with family was something everyone should be doing, not just when they knew one of them was going to die soon.

~*~

Howard was exhausted, but he didn’t feel the pain like he’d been feeling the last few weeks.He knew that Roger had given him a bit of magic to help him along, and he was grateful for it.After taking his shower, he was ready for bed around midnight.Elizabeth had been in bed for about an hour now, and he went to their room to look in on her.

Sitting next to the bed in the room’s only chair, he moved a lock of hair from her face so that he had a clear view of the face that he’d come to love all his life.Leaning back in the chair, he thought of all the things that had made him happy over the years.Seeing Elizabeth heavy with his children had been the most special of all his memories.

“I’ve made some changes to my will, love.It will benefit all of you when the time is right.I’m leaving the horse farm and all the land to Conri.Not that he thinks of it like he’s beholding to the great vampire, but a pack needs their own land, I believe.He’s been such a good man to all of us that I hate leaving him with the task too of taking care of Cindy.No matter what we say about writing her out of our lives, she is still our daughter, and I couldn’t do that even if I wasn’t sick with this damned tumor.”

He thought of the things that he’d left the pack and the man who runs it.It made him think of his own beautiful daughter, Cass, and how much she seemed to love the big wolf.Smiling to himself, he thought of what his son said about them having a houseful of children by the way they looked at one another.

“I know that they don’t need it, but I’ve set aside some money for their children to have a bit of a nest egg.And children that Howie might have, too.I don’t think he’ll mourn too much longer.He sees his sister’s happiness, and I’m betting that he wants that for himself, too, before too much longer.”He thought about the memories that she’d bring with her when she came to be with him and hoped that was true.That they could sit and talk about their family like he’d never left them.“I want to go now, love.I hate waiting daily for the pain to hit me so badly that it takes my breath away.I don’t like not remembering things like names and people.It frustrates me so much that it makes me angry.I don’t like that feeling either, just so you know.”

When Elizabeth sighed heavily in her sleep and rolled to her back.He could see her face fully now and thought she was just as beautiful tonight as she was when they met all those years ago.She could still make his heart skip a few beats when she smiled like she was doing now.

“I know that I said I was ready to depart this life, and I am.But I’m hoping for just one more day with you.A day that we can hash out what you’re going to be doing with the rest of your life.I want you to be happy, love.I want you to be able to hold our grandchildren and love on them.I want everything that I can’t do now for you to do for me.Tell them…tell them every day that I would have loved them to pieces.Take them to my gravesite and tell them stories about me so that they know me.”He thought about that.“No, don’t do that.You can tell them stories when they ask, but don’t bore them to death with daily stories about me.They’ll get enough of me from all you telling them little stories.And don’t take them to the grave.I don’t want children there when they should be out and full of life in a yard someplace.”

He looked out the window when he thought about how much he was going to miss, and it made him sad.Too sad to talk to his wife right then.While he allowed the tears to flow down his cheeks, he wondered if it would be painful when he died.Would the tumor hurt him more in the end and found himself to be a little frightened about that.

Looking at his wonderful wife, he could see the frowns that were marring her beautiful face and knew that he was the cause of it.Touching his finger to the slight marring, he told her that he loved her.

He must have dozed off in the chair because he was suddenly wide awake.Getting up, stumbling a little to the bathroom, he wondered if he’d been in here already as the toilet was running.Going back to the bed, he felt a wave of something roll over him, and he had to hold onto the dresser until he hadhis balance back.

It took him several tries to get back to the bed.Twice, he nearly fell when he released the dresser, and then he almost tripped up when he realized that he’d lost one of his slippers at some point.Getting into the bed, finally, he was glad for the size of the thing so that he’d not disturb Elizabeth with him trying to get the covers right and over him.

Lying there, he thought about the way he was feeling and was afraid.Afraid that this was the time and he wasn’t going to get to talk to his wife or family again.Crying a little, he tried to remember the name of the young man who had taken them in and couldn’t.It hurt his heart that he couldn’t remember his son’s name either.

“You’ll be just fine.”He looked over at his wife.“You’ll be just fine if you want to go.I know that you’re hurting.”

He sobbed loudly and took her hand to his heart.Telling her how he was feeling again, he couldn’t remember if he’d been up and about just now, and she told him that it didn’t matter.That she had him now and that he could go to sleep if he wanted.

“But I might not wake up.”She seemed to understand that as well and laid her head on his chest just over his heart.“I love you, Bethy love.With all that I am.I’m going to miss you so much.”

“Shhhh.I have you.Close your eyes and tell me a story.The one where you tricked Dominic into leaving me at the party by myself.”He said he didn’t know who that was.“It’s all right.I’m going to tell you one then.It’s about this man who brought me roses all the time when he thought I could use a pick me up.How chocolates would just show up in the house when I’ve had a bad day.”She patted his chest, and he nearly panicked when he couldn’t remember who she was or why she was with him.“I have you, Howard.I want you to do what you need to do.Just close your eyes and think of me.All right?

“Yes, all right.”It didn’t seem important that he told her that he didn’t know where he was nor who she was.Just closing his eyes, he could feel her breath on his chest, and it made him feel like he could take on the world.When he started to feel heavy, his body being weighted down with something akin to a weight being settled over him, he no longer felt panicky but calm for the first time in what seemed forever.“I love you and that you’re here with me.”

The weight was almost nearly taking his breath away, and he didn’t seem to mind that.His head didn’t hurt, but why he cared, he didn’t understand.All he knew was that someone was with him at this time, and he didn’t feel alone any longer.He felt…he had peace in his heart for whatever was going on, and his breath felt lighter like he didn’t need to breathe anymore and didn’t.The last thing that he felt, or even thought of before he faded away, was that he should know the woman in the bed with him, but it was too much.Fading, or whatever it was called, was taking everything away from him.

~*~

Cass held onto her mother’s hand while the medics that had come with the ambulance had worked to save her father.He’d been gone since two mom had told her, and she hadn’t been ready to let him go.She understood that more than she could explain to her mother how much she really did understand.

It was now six-thirty, and she’d been able to say her goodbyes too.Howie had been here at four, and he, too, got to go and sit with Dad for a time while they all waited.Her dad was gone.Her hero wasn’t going to be around for her anymore.It didn’t bother her as much as it might have if not for the calmness of her mother right now.

“We talked for a little while.I could hear him talking to me as well when he thought that I was asleep.Then I saw him getting up and wandering around the room like a caged animal, and I realized that he didn’t know what was going on.I didn’t want that for him, not if I could do something about it.”Cass asked her if she’d let him go.“Yes.I told him that I had him, and he seemed to believe me, so I held him until I got up to talk to you.”

“Did he have any pain, Mom?”She said that he hadn’t.His heart just faded quietly away until he was gone.“That’s all we could ask for him to go peacefully.”

“Yes.I realized something else, too.I was being selfish about wanting him to live out that yearwhen he was in so much pain.Your father was a proud man, and forgetting things like he’d been doing would have embarrassed him.”Cass nodded and held hands with Conri, who had been there for all of them.“I told them they were wasting their time with trying to revive him.But they continue on doing it.”

“They’ll stop soon.”Again, a calmness rolled over her.“Dad went out like he wanted with his family near him and in his own bed.I love that.He’s at peace and no longer hurting like he was either.”

Calling the police had been done by Conri.And only when they’d all had their time to say goodbye to him.There was some discussion about telling Cynthia, but that all went to the wayside while they talked about Dad and his dying the way that he had.

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