Page 68 of Ready to Score

Jade huffed. “So, what? I’m held to some kind of impossibly high standard by you that leaves me no room to make mistakes? I mean, damn, Coach, I’m not saying that I didn’t mess up, but the fact that you’re actually considering giving up on me forthisof all things just doesn’t make sense. Not a lick of it.”

“Thiswas big, Dunn.” Landry groaned. “One of West Beaufort’s assistant coaches caught you pulling that stunt, and if that man didn’t know me as well as he did, he could have gone to the district about it instead of coming to me directly. The team’s reputation could have been ruined. The boys could have lost their season before it even began.”

He was right. There had never been any denying that, not even to herself.

“I know.” She let out a shaky breath. “I know I was wrong. I know I could have completely ruined us. It’s not that I don’t know that now. It’s just that I didn’t really grasp it then. I was…”

“You were shortsighted.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s it. I was shortsighted. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.”

“Learning how to do that is an essential part of this, Dunn.” He grunted. “I’d even argue that it’s the biggest part—always remembering the bigger picture. When you’re staring down the barrel of low morale and losing streaks and everything it means to be a leader to these kids, that bigger picture always has to be on your mind. You cannot forget it.”

Jade swallowed, nodding silently. There was nothing for her to say. Once again, he was right. Her silence wasn’t even born out of feeling like a scolded child. Nor was it based on feeling sorry that she might still lose everything. It was pure shame. Sure, no one had gotten hurt by her scheming, but they could have. She closed her eyes and imagined the faces of every kid on their team. Sweaty and round-eyed, looking up at her with all the trust in the world. Then she imagined the way those same faces would turn if people unfairly labeled them as cheaters because of her actions.

It made her feel sick.

Landry kept going. “Look, I apologize for ignoring you. I’ll admit that wasn’t the best decision on my part. I just didn’t know what to say to you, because, truthfully, I still don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”

“Right.”

“I know that’s not comforting, but maybe it’ll give you a chance to get your head back on straight. Remember why you’re really here and why you want this. Because I know that it isn’t just so you can say you won.”

Her stomach churned again. Someone might assume that, with the amount of life-draining talking-tos she’d been given in recent history, she would have gotten used to the sinking feeling in her gut that came when someone made her realize something new about herself. But she hadn’t.

“I’m going to make you proud again, Coach.”

Landry had gone back to his computer, but he paused and looked up at her. This time, the look on his face wasn’t disappointment. It was soft. So soft it made her ache.

“The only person you need to make proud is yourself, Jade. That way you can catch up to how the rest of us already feel about you.”

She and Lim had exchanged numbers the night she’d shown up at Jade’s parents’ house. Jade had never made use of it. But in the days following their last encounter—and Lim’s justified rejection of her advances—Jade had taken up the habit of opening her phone’s contacts list, finding Lim’s number, and attempting to send her a message.

Every single time, she typed something out quickly. Normally, it was a few lines—an introduction—that she’d edit and agonize over forever. Then, every single time when she got that message to the best version of itself, she’d delete it because it still never felt good enough.

This night wasn’t so different from the rest. Except that whateverwas in her stopping her from pressing Send all those other times simply wasn’t there anymore.

She kept it pretty bare-bones.

Jade:

Hey. It’s Jade Dunn.

Lim:

Hi! Way to formally introduce yourself like a boomer. You literally put the number in my phone. I know it’s you.

Jade:

Now I’m thinking I should block you for all this sass…

Lim:

Sorry, sorry. I’m just kidding, swear.

Lim:

What’s up? Everything ok?

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