Page 83 of 15 Summers Later

Now that she knew she was expecting a baby, her mental and physical exhaustion of the past few weeks seemed far more understandable. Growing a baby was tough work. At least she wasn’t suffering from some autoimmune condition like chronic fatigue syndrome or Lyme disease.

She remembered again telling Cullen she was pregnant. That brief, wild moment of joy. Whatever else he might be feeling about her right now, she knew that instinctive response had been genuine. He had truly been happy about the news, until he remembered that while he might want a child, he wasn’t as certain he wantedAvaalong with the baby.

How could she fix things? She did not have the first idea. She couldn’t go back and change their history. She had made a decision to bifurcate her past, to, as he put it, curate what she told him into shareable and unshareable information.

She couldn’t blame him for feeling as if he had married a stranger, though her initial reaction when she first realized he was upset about all the things she hadn’t told him had been hurt and anger.

He loved the woman she was now. Why couldn’t that be enough? Why did he have to know every single detail of her life?

As she thought about it, however, his reaction made more sense. How would she feel if he had withheld huge chunks of his life from her, especially if those details had undeniably shaped him?

She couldn’t go back and live that time over.

If she had known her decision to stay quiet about their time at Ghost Lake would have such chilling ramifications for her marriage, she still wasn’t sure she would have been able to tell him everything.

She did know she would never have finished the book for her master’s thesis and certainly never would have allowed her advisor to read it and subsequently to submit it to contacts in the publishing industry.

Every choice had consequences, ripple effects that expanded out to impact others, whether intended or not.

If that drunk driver hadn’t killed her mother. If her father had never met the Boyle brothers and been drawn into their twisted ideology. If Clint had only stopped to consider that all their choices had been taken away as soon he moved them to Ghost Lake.

She sighed, shifting on the old truck bench to find a more comfortable position.

“How are you doing?” Madi asked.

“I’m fine.” She actually was. Right now, at least, it wasn’t a lie. The nausea had faded. Even the bumpy road did not seem to be impacting her dicey stomach.

“I told Luke I would drop you off at Leona’s first, before I meet him at the clinic to help him take care of the dogs.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s out of your way. I can walk from the clinic. It’s only a few blocks.”

“I know, but you’ve already had a long and stressful day. I can see you’re exhausted.”

“It’s fine. I can make it a little longer. I want to make sure Gracie and her friend are settled for the night.”

If Madi was surprised at her concern for the dogs, she didn’t show it.

“Luke has turned into a good veterinarian, hasn’t he?” Ava said.

“The best. He’s an excellent vet.”

“And a good man,” Ava said.

“Yes. That, too.”

Madi kept her gaze on the road but Ava thought she saw an odd expression cross her sister’s features.

She narrowed her gaze. Was there something going on between Luke Gentry and Madi? She knew Madi was close with all the Gentrys and that Luke had been a mentor of sorts to her. Leona had told her how much Luke had helped Madi start the shelter and about the many volunteer hours of veterinary care he donated to help the animals.

She knew all that. But was there something else? She had seen them hug after they finished loading up the vehicles. It had seemed more than a hug between friends.

It seemed a departure for her sister. Madi liked to date with the seasons. Living in Portland, Ava didn’t see her pattern firsthand but she had heard about it, both from Madi herself and from Leona.

In winter, she tended to date guys in town for the ski or snowmobile seasons. Summer brought trail guides or river rats. From what Ava understood, Madi at least chose nice guys, but none of the relationships were particularly serious, with the kind of guys who would stick around.

She was quite certain that was the idea, at least as far as Madi was concerned.

Luke would be an entirely different level of relationship.

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