“No.” Ava seemed to shake off her strange torpor. “I’m fine. Could we...? Is there somewhere private we could talk?”
Cullen looked undecided, then nodded. “We can walk back into the trees. We’ve got a bench and a couple of camp chairs there, overlooking the lake.”
“That works.” Ava moved to follow him.
“I’ll just hang out here with your dog,” Madi said. “What’s his name?”
“Bob. He belongs to one of the grad students but thinks every visitor to the camp is his business.”
“Hi, Bob. I’m Madison,” she said, adopting a cheery tone, and was happy when the dog wandered closer, his tail beginning a tentative wag.
By the time Ava and her husband walked up the trail, Madi and the dog were the best of friends.
That didn’t stop her from watching after the departing figures of the couple and wondering what in the world was going on.
19
Days blur into nights, and our strength is tested in ways we never imagined. The vast expanse of the mountains becomes both a sanctuary and a labyrinth, a place of refuge and a realm of peril. Yet, with every step, we move closer to the distant promise of civilization, leaving behind the haunting echoes of the Coalition and embracing the uncertain path that leads to our newfound freedom.
—Ghost Lakeby Ava Howell Brooks
Ava
Oh, this was hard. Now that she was here, facing her husband, she had no idea where to start.
It didn’t help that he seemed like a stranger, with more beard than he’d had even a few days earlier, his hair in need of a cut and a distant expression on his features.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”
Over the years they had been together, she had wondered what it might be like to find out with him that they were expecting a baby. She would imagine it occasionally, usually when friends of theirs would spill their own news that they were pregnant.
This was not at all the way she might have imagined it, sitting in the forest of her nightmares, facing a man who clearly did not want her here.
“I didn’t want to come,” she admitted. “I know you need space and I’m trying to give you that but...I also think you would want to know. You would be more angry with me if I kept this news from you, and I...I couldn’t bear that.”
He looked suddenly weary. “I’m not angry with you, Ava. I thought I explained that to you. There’s a big difference between being angry and being so deeply hurt that you feel it down to your bones.”
She closed her eyes, hating that her fear had brought them to this point. When she opened them, she found him gazing down at her with the same remote expression.
“I...haven’t been feeling well for a few weeks now. Since before...everything happened and you left Portland, actually.”
He frowned. “I thought you looked pale at the farmers market last week. I assumed maybe it was from being out in the heat.”
“That might have been part of it. It doesn’t explain everything. The fatigue. The nausea. The...inability to control my emotions.”
“It seems to me you have never had a hard time controlling your emotions. You’re very good at curating everything you say or do to portray exactly the image you want the world to see.”
His words might not have wounded her if he had spoken them in any other tone but that dispassionate, resigned one. As it was, she felt gutted.
“Madi and I learned early after we arrived at the camp to hide our emotions,” she admitted, her voice low. “If you stayed quiet, your words could not be used to punish you later for some infraction, intended or accidental.”
His eyes softened with compassion before he looked away.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, so...I guess I’ll come out and say it straight up.”
“What’s going on?” he asked, wariness in his voice.
She gave a heavy sigh. “I’ve been suffering for about three weeks with nausea. Someone suggested I might be pregnant. I took about eight pregnancy tests that confirmed it. I know it’s the worst possible timing. I didn’t plan it and didn’t expect this to happen, but...we’re going to have a baby.”