Page 46 of A Soldier's Return

She made a soft sound and wrapped her arms around his neck, her mouth angled to allow him better access. Her breasts ached where they were pressed against him.Everythingached.

His mouth was urgent and demanding on hers, and the hunger in it aroused her.

He wanted her.

She didn’t need to feel the hard nudge of his arousal against her to sense it in his hands and his mouth and his body. They were alone in the house. She could take him by the hand and tug him into her bedroom, and they could spend the rest of this rainy, misty night wrapped together, pushing away the shadows.

The temptation consumed her. How easy it would be to take that step. It had been so very long since she had felt wanted and needed and cherished like this.

And then what? If she and Eli spent the night together, where would that leave them? He was still committed to leaving. He had just told her all his reasons for it. He was driven to continue the work he had been doing, providing medical care to people in need. She understood now that he was motivated by a complicated tangle of guilt and grief and obligation. She also understood that she would be a fool to think she would be enough to keep him here.

Her heart would be broken. Just like her marriage—which she had known even as she was sayingI dowas a mistake that never should have happened—it would be her own stupid fault.

One the best ways she had found to discipline Skye on the rare occasions her daughter misbehaved was to redirect, to encourage her to make a better choice. Those words,make a better choice, were often all she needed to say when Skye was throwing one of her rare tantrums or doing something Melissa had told her not to do.

She needed to listen to her own advice to her daughter. She had no hope of creating happiness in life if she made choices she knew from the outset would only lead to heartbreak and pain.

She couldn’t make love with him, as much as she ached to feel his arms around her all night long, to learn all his secrets and explore that delicious body.

It would leave her too vulnerable. She was already half in love with the man. Spending what was left of the night together would push her headlong the rest of the way.

She had entrusted her heart and her life to one man who put something else ahead of her. Fixing her mistake had cost her dearly, and her child would pay the price for that the rest of her life, forever separated from one parent or the other through the tangled maze of custody and visitations.

She couldn’t wander blindly into a similar situation. When he walked away to return to the military and the life that gave him such purpose and meaning, Melissa was very much afraid she would never put back together the pieces of her shattered heart.

She didn’t want to end the kiss. She wanted to stay right here forever, with his warm, sexy mouth teasing out all her secrets. Just a few more moments...

He was finally the one who broke the embrace. He eased his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers.

She thought she smelled roses again, but this time the scent was wistful and almost sad.

“Didn’t we say we weren’t going to do this again?” he said, his forehead pressed to hers.

She wanted to make some smart response but couldn’t think of anything. “Kisses don’t count in the middle of the night.”

“I think that’s when they count the most.”

After a moment, he stepped away, eyes haunted with regret. “I need to go, before I forget all the reasons why I can’t stay.”

Her chest ached and she wished with all her heart that things could be different, that she could be the woman for him.

“What about Max?” he asked.

Already the house seemed to echo with emptiness. For all that the ghosts of Brambleberry House seemed friendly enough, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to face them alone tonight. “He’s here and he seems comfortable enough. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep him overnight.”

“No problem.”

He looked as if he had other things he wanted to say, but Eli finally headed for the door. When he opened it, Melissa saw the light rain of earlier had turned into a steady downpour. It matched her sudden mood—dank, dark, dismal.

“Good night,” he said with one last, backward look that seemed filled with regret.

Was he regretting that he had to leave?

Or regretting that they both knew he couldn’t stay?

After he walked out into the night, Melissa locked the door behind him, then went through her apartment turning off lights, grateful for Max’s company as he followed along behind her.

Her heart ached as she thought of the story Eli had told and the sadness behind it. He must have cared about the woman very much to shoulder such a burden six months later. This Justine person must have been remarkable. Not the kind of woman who basically fell apart simply because her daughter was spending the night with her father.

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