Page 89 of The Holiday Gift

She smiled. “No. I buy from a gourmet food store in Jackson Hole. It’s imported from France.”

He sipped again, letting the sensuous flavors mix on his tongue. Worth an interrupted night’s sleep, just for a little of that divine hot chocolate.

She sat across the table from him and he couldn’t help noticing how the loose neckline of her shirt gaped a little with each breath.

“So how is the house working out?”

“Fine, so far. But then, I haven’t even had one full night’s sleep in it.” And what little sleep hehadenjoyed had been tormented by futile dreams of something he couldn’t have.

“I’m sorry again about that, especially considering you had to stay the night with Luke last night.”

He shrugged. “Don’t be sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just part of my life, something I’m very used to. I often get emergency calls.”

Even without the work-related sleep disruptions, his sleep was frequently restless. “The house works well. The kids are happy to have a little more room and Mrs. Michaels is over the moon to have a kitchen again. She made her famous macaroni and cheese for dinner. You’ll have to try it sometime. It’s as much a gourmet treat as your hot chocolate. I have to admit, I’ve missed her cooking.”

“You must feel very lucky that she was willing to come with you from California.”

“Lucky doesn’t begin to describe the half of it. I would be completely lost without her. Since Brooke—my wife—died, Anne has kept us all going.”

“Of all the places you could have bought a practice, why did you pick Pine Gulch?” She seemed genuinely interested and he leaned back in his chair, sipping at his drink, enjoying the quiet conversation more than he probably should.

“Doc Harris and I have known each other since before I graduated from veterinary school. We met at a conference and had kept up an email correspondence. When he told me he was retiring and wanted to sell his practice, it seemed the perfect opportunity. I had...reasons for wanting to leave California.”

She didn’t press him, though he could see the curiosity in her eyes. He wanted to tell her. He wasn’t sure why—perhaps the quiet peace of the kitchen or the way she had looked at him with such admiration after the thoracentesis. Or maybe just because he hadn’t talked about it with anyone, not even Mrs. Michaels.

“My wife has been gone for two years now and I think the kids and I both needed a new start, you know? Away from all the old patterns and relationships. The familiar can sometimes carry its own burdens.”

“I can understand that. I’ve had plenty of moments when I just want to pick up and start over.”

What would she want to run from? he wondered. He had a feeling there was far more beneath the surface of Caidy Bowman than a beautiful cowgirl who loved animals and her family.

“So you just packed everybody up and headed to the mountains of Idaho?”

“Something like that.”

She sipped at her hot cocoa and they lapsed into silence broken only by the dog’s breathing, comfortable and easy now, he was gratified to see. She had a little dab of chocolate on her upper lip and he wondered what she would do if he reached across the table and licked it off.

“Is it rude and intrusive for me to ask about your wife?”

That was one way to squelch his inappropriate desire. He shifted in a chair that suddenly felt as hard and unforgiving as a cold block of cement.

“She...died in a car accident after slipping into a diabetes-related coma while she was behind the wheel.”

He didn’t add the rest, about the unborn child he hadn’t wanted who had died along with her, about how angry he had been with her for the weeks leading up to her death, furious that she would put him in such an untenable position after they had both decided to stop once Jack was born, when doctors warned of the grave risks of a third pregnancy.

He hated himself for the way he had reacted. The temper he had inherited from his grandfather, the one he worked constantly to overcome, had slipped its leash and he had been hateful and mean and had even taken to sleeping in the guest room after she told him she was pregnant, just days after they had decided he would have a vasectomy.

Caidy gave him a sympathetic look, which he definitely did not deserve. “Diabetes. How tragic. She must have been young.”

“Thirty.”

Her mouth twisted. “I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

Yes. Tragic. Something that never should have happened. He blamed himself—and so did Brooke’s parents, which was the reason they were trying to poison Ava and Jack against him.

“You must miss her terribly. I can understand why you wanted to make a new start away from the memories.”

He did miss her. He had adored her when they first married, until the rather willful, spoiled part of her he had overlooked as part of her charm when they were dating began to show itself in difficult ways.

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