Page 48 of The Holiday Gift

Mary made that snorting noise again. “Who isn’t, honey? If you’re not scared sometimes, you’re just plain stupid. The trick is to decide how much of your life you’re willing to sacrifice for those fears.”

Before she could come up with an answer, her aunt rose. “I’m going to turn in and you’ve got kids waiting for you to read to them.”

She rose, as well. “Thank you, Mary.”

She didn’t know if she was thanking her for the advice or the last eighteen years of wisdom. She supposed it didn’t really matter.

Her aunt hugged her. “Don’t worry. You’ll figure it out. Good night, honey. Sleep well.”

She would have laughed if she thought she could pull it off without sounding hysterical.

Something told her more than the wind would be keeping her up that night.

* * *

She didn’t see Chase at all the next week. Maybe he was only giving her space, as she had asked, or maybe he was as busy at his place as she was at the Star N, trying to finish up random jobs before the holidays.

Or maybe he was finally fed up with her cowardice and indecision.

Though she didn’t see him, she did talk to him on the phone twice.

He called her once on Monday morning, the day after the storm and that stunning kiss in the barn, to make sure her ranch hadn’t sustained significant damage from the winds and snows.

On Thursday afternoon, he called to tell her he was driving to Boise to pick up Addie a day earlier than planned and asked if she needed him to bring anything back from Boise for the kids’ stockings.

He had sounded distant and frazzled. She knew how tough it was for him to be separated from Addie over the holidays, which made his thoughtfulness in worrying about Louisa and Barrett even more touching.

Again, she wanted to smack Cindy for her selfishness in booking a cruise over the holidays without consulting him.

He could have withheld permission and the court would have sided with him. After Cindy sprang the news on him, though, he had told Faith he hadn’t wanted to drag Addie into a war between her parents.

As a result, he was planning their own Christmas celebration a few days before the actual holiday, complete with Christmas Eve dinner, presents and all.

“I think we’re covered,” she told him, her heart aching. “Be careful driving back. Oh, and let Addie know she’s still on to sing with Louisa and Olivia. Ella is planning on it.”

“I’ll tell her. She’ll be thrilled. Thanks.”

She wanted to tell him so many other things. That she hadn’t stopped thinking about him. That their kisses seemed to play through her head on an endless loop. That she just needed a little more time. She couldn’t find the courage to say any of it so he ended up telling her goodbye rather abruptly and severing the connection.

There had been times when they stayed on the phone the entire time he drove to Boise to pick up his daughter, never running out of things to talk about.

Were those days gone forever?

She sighed now and headed toward Saint Nicholas Lodge with a couple of letters that had been delivered to the main house by accident, probably because the post office had temporary help handling the holiday mail volume.

Though she waved at the longtime clerk at the gift store, she didn’t stop to chat, heading straight for the office instead, where she found Hope sitting behind her desk.

“Mail delivery,” Faith announced, setting the letters on the desk. “It looks like a bill for reindeer food and one for candy canes. I might have a tough time convincing my accountant those are legitimate expenses for a cattle ranch.”

When Hope didn’t reply, Faith’s gaze sharpened on her sister. Fear suddenly clutched her when she registered her sister’s pale features, her pinched mouth, the haunted eyes. “What is it, honey? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Faith. I... I was just about to call you.”

Her sister’s last word ended in a sob that she tried to hide but Faith wasn’t fooled. She also suddenly realized her sister’s arms were crossed protectively across her abdomen.

“What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

Hope nodded, tears dripping down the corners of her eyes. “I’ve been having crampy aches all day and I... I just don’t feel good. I was just in the bathroom and...had some spotting. Oh, Faith. I’m afraid I’m losing the baby.”

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