Page 46 of The Holiday Gift

How had it happened? How could she haveletit happen?

She should have known something had shifted over the last few months when she started anticipating the times she knew she would see him with a new sort of intensity, when she became more aware of the way other women looked at him when they were together, as she started noticing a ripple of muscle, the solid strength of him as he did some ordinary task in the barn.

She should have realized, but it all just seemed so...natural.

She was still sitting there trying to come to terms with the shock when Mary came into the kitchen wearing her favorite flannel nightgown over long underwear and thick socks.

“Did Chase take off? I had leftovers for him.”

She summoned a smile that felt a little wobbly at the edges. “He took them. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, you know me. Worrying is what I do best.” Mary looked out the window where the snow lashed in hard pellets. “I’ll tell you, I don’t like him driving into the teeth of that nasty wind. All it would take would be one tree limb to fall on his pickup truck.”

Her heart clutched at the unbearable thought.

This. This was why she couldn’t let herself love him. She would not survive losing a man she loved a second time.

She pushed the grim fear away, choosing instead to focus on something positive.

“Rosie had her puppies. Five of them.”

“Is that right?” Mary looked pleased.

“They’re adorable. I’m sure the kids will want to see them first thing.”

“I made them take their showers for the night. Barrett isn’t very happy with me right now but I’m sure he’ll get over it. They’re both in their rooms, reading.”

She would go read to them in a moment. It was her favorite part of the day, those quiet moments when she could cuddle her children and explore literary worlds with them. “Thank you,” she said to her aunt. “I don’t tell you enough how much I appreciate your help.”

Mary sat down across from her at the table. “Are you okay? You seem upset.”

For a moment, she desperately wanted to confide in her beloved great-aunt, who was just about the wisest person she knew. The words wouldn’t come, though. Mary wouldn’t be an unbiased observer in this particular case as Mary adored Chase and always had.

“I’m just feeling a little down tonight.”

Mary took Faith’s hands in her own wrinkled, age-spotted ones. “I get that way sometimes. The holidays sure make me feel alone.”

A hard nugget of guilt lodged in her chest. She wasn’t the only one in the world who had ever suffered heartache. Uncle Claude had died five years earlier and they all still missed him desperately.

“You’re not alone,” she told her aunt. “You’ve got us, as long as you want us.”

“I know that, my dear, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that.” Mary squeezed her fingers. “It’s not quite the same. I miss my Claude.”

She thought of her big, burly, white-haired great-uncle, who had adored Christmas so much that he had started The Christmas Ranch with one small herd of reindeer to share his love of the holiday with the community.

“I’m thinking about dating again,” Mary announced. “What do you think?”

She blinked at that completely unexpected piece of information. “Really?”

“Why not? Your uncle’s been gone for years and I’m not getting any younger.”

“I... No. You’re not. I think it’s great. Really great.”

Her aunt made a face. “I don’t know aboutgreat.More like a necessary evil. I’d like to get married again, have a companion in my old age, and unfortunately you usually have to go through the motions and go on a few dates first in order to get there.”

Her seventy-year-old great-aunt was braver than she was. It was another humbling realization. “Do you have someone in mind?”

Her aunt shrugged. “A couple of widowers at the senior citizens center have asked me out. They’re nice enough, but I was thinking about asking Pat Walters out to dinner.”