Page 78 of Daisy Jones & The Six

That I was in love with him.

And getting high and going to Thailand and marrying a prince wasn’t going to make me stop. And him being married to somebody else…That wasn’t going to stop it either. I think I finally resigned myself to it in that moment. Just how sad it all was.

And then I started singing.

KAREN:You know when you can hear that there is a lump in somebody’s throat? That’s what she sounded like. And it…it killed everybody in the room. Her looking at him like that. Singing to him like that. Singing, “It doesn’t matter how hard I try/can’t earn some things no matter why.” I mean, c’mon.

BILLY:I loved my wife. I was faithful to my wife from the very minute I straightened up. I tried desperately to never feel anything else for any other woman. But…[breathes deeply]Everything that made Daisy burn, made me burn. Everything I loved about the world, Daisy loved about the world. Everything I struggled with, Daisy struggled with. We were two halves. We were the same. In that way that you’re only the same with a few other people. In that way that you don’t even feel like you have to say your own thoughts because you know the other person is already thinking them. How could I be around Daisy Jones and not be mesmerized by her? Not fall in love with her?

I couldn’t.

I just couldn’t.

But Camila meant more. That’s just the very deepest truth. My family meant more to me. Camila meant more to me. Maybe, for a little while there, Camila wasn’t the person I was the most drawn to. Or…

…

…

…

Maybe Camila wasn’t the person I was the most in love with. At that time. I don’t know. You can’t…Maybe she wasn’t. But she was always the person I loved the most. She was always the person I would choose.

It is Camila, for me. Always.

Passion is…it’s fire. And fire is great, man. But we’re made of water. Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive. My family was my water. I picked water. I’ll pick water every time. And I wanted Daisy to find her water. Because I couldn’t be it.

GRAHAM:Watching Billy play the piano and look at Daisy, I thought,I hope Camila doesn’t see this.

BILLY:You try playing a song like that with a woman like Daisy knowing your wife will see it. You try doing that. And then tell me you’re not about to lose your goddamn mind.

ROD:It was electric, that performance. The two of them, together, performingtoeach other. It felt like they were ripping their hearts out on national TV. Those moments don’t happen all the time. If you were up late that Saturday night watching them, you felt like you’d witnessed something big.

KAREN:When the song was over, the small audience there erupted and Billy and Daisy took their final bow. And the rest of us came out and joined them. And, you know, I did kind of have this feeling, then, that we were big and we were only going to get bigger. It was the first time that I thought,Are we going to be the biggest band in the world?

WARREN:We went to the after-party with the whole cast and everybody. Lisa Crowne was the host and I thought, you know,Just play it cool with her and maybe she’ll be into you.And so that’s what I did. And then she was.

GRAHAM:When I looked over, sometime in the early morning, and Warren had his arm around Lisa Crowne, I thought,Shit, we must be really fucking famous.I mean, we’d have to be for Warren to have a chance with Lisa Crowne.

EDDIE:Pete and I partied with theSNLband to the point where I couldn’t feel my own nose and Pete puked into a tuba.

WARREN:By the time I left with Lisa, I didn’t see Daisy anywhere.

GRAHAM:At some point, we all lost track of Daisy.

BILLY:I was polite, and I went to the bar with everybody. But I couldn’t stay long.SNLparties are not where you want to be when you’re sober.

When I got back to my hotel, I got a call from [Camila] and we talked for a little while and there was a lot that we weren’t saying. She had watched the show and I think she was wrestling with how to feel about all of it. We talked around it a long time. And then she said she wanted to go to sleep and I said, “Okay,” and then I said, “I love you. You are my ‘Aurora.’ ” And she said she loved me too and hung up the phone.

CAMILA:No matter who you choose to go down the road with, you’re gonna get hurt. That’s just the nature of caring about someone. No matter who you love, they will break your heart along the way. Billy Dunne has broken my heart a number of times. And I know I’ve broken his. But yes, that night watching them onSNL…that was one of the times that my heart cracked.

But I just kept choosing trust and hope. I believed he was worthy of it.

DAISY:I was sitting in a booth next to Rod at theSNLparty and a bunch of girls went into the bathroom to do a line and I was so bored. I was so incredibly bored of my life. Of the speed and coke and the cycle. It was like watching a movie for the hundredth time. You already know when the bad guy’s gonna show up, you already know what the hero will do. It was so boring, the thought of it, that I wanted to die. I wanted real life, for once. Anything real. So I got up and I got in a cab and I went back to the hotel and I went to Billy’s room.

BILLY:There was a knock at my door. Just as I was falling asleep. And at first I just let the person knock. I figured it was Graham and it could wait until the morning.

DAISY:I just kept knocking. I knew he was in there.

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