Page 53 of Daisy Jones & The Six

I remember realizing I had even more power in me than I had originally thought. That I had more to give, more depth and range, than even I knew about myself.

ROD:She was looking right at Billy the whole time she sang. And he was staring at her, nodding along with her. When she finished the song, Teddy started clapping. And the look on her face, the delight she felt, it was like watching a kid on Christmas. Truly. She was so proud of herself.

She pulled the headphones off and threw them down and ran out of the booth and—I kid you not—ran directly into Billy’s arms. He picked her up, just off the floor, and kind of swung her back and forth for a moment. And I could have sworn to you he smelled her hair before he put her back down.

DAISY:We were all in the studio recording one afternoon when Camila came in with the girls.

GRAHAM:I had said to Camila, “Why don’t you bring everybody here more often?” Because Camila would stop by occasionally but it was always for a minute to drop off something to Billy. She never came and hung out. But we had so many people hanging out back then.

Of course, the time she comes in to hang out for a little while, one of the twins starts crying for what seemed like no reason. Wouldn’t stop. I don’t remember if it was Susana or Maria but Billy took her and held her and tried to shush her and she would not calm down. I took her, Karen took her. It didn’t matter what we all did.

Camila ended up taking both of the twins outside.

CAMILA:Babies and rock ’n’ roll don’t really go hand in hand.

KAREN:I went for a walk with Camila and the girls one day at the studio. I said, “How are things going?”

And she just…opened up. Talking and talking like the words were tumbling out of her. The twins weren’t sleeping and Julia was going through a jealous period and Billy was never home. And then she stopped in place, as she was pushing the girls along with the stroller, and she said, “Why am I complaining? I love my life.”

CAMILA:What is it they say? The days are long but the years are short? Whoever said that was a mom with three kids under the age of three. Tired and cranky on an hourly basis, bursting with joy when you put your head on the pillow. Raising kids is hard work. It was work I was happy to do, though.

Everybody is good at something. I was good at motherhood.

KAREN:Camila had said to me that day, something like “I’m living the life I want to live.” And there was an ease about her, as she said it.

GRAHAM:While Camila and the twins were outside, Billy set Julia up in the control booth. She was there hanging out with Artie and Teddy and everybody while we all laid something down.

She had such a fun time in there. She was so cute with the cans on her ears and her tiny little dress. Her hair was still blond then. Her legs were so short, they didn’t even bend at the knee when she sat, just stuck straight out.

KAREN:I decided to tell Camila about Graham. I needed her help figuring out what to do.

I had…I never told him this, but I saw a letter from his mom on his nightstand one morning. And I hadn’t meant to pry but it was right there and a few lines stood out. His mom was telling him that if he really loved this girl he was with then he should make it official. And that freaked me out.

GRAHAM:I wanted a family. Not right then. But sure, I wanted what my brother had.

KAREN:I said to Camila, “What would you think if I was sleeping with Graham?”

She took off her sunglasses and looked me right in the eye. She said, “Ifyou were sleeping with Graham?”

I said, “Yeah,if.”

CAMILA:He’d been in love with her since God only knows how long.

KAREN:We kept talking in hypotheticals. Camila said I would have to be taking into account the fact that Graham had had feelings for me for quite a while. Which…I knew but I didn’t know, I guess.

CAMILA:I told her that if she was sleeping with Graham and wasn’t feeling about him the way I knew he felt about her…well, I think I told her to stop.

KAREN:I believe she said, “Don’t hurt Graham or I’ll kill you.”

I said, “Aren’t you worried about Graham hurting me?”

And she said, “If Graham broke your heart, I’d kill him, too. You know that. But we both know Graham’s not going to break your heart. We both know which way this is going to go.”

I got a little defensive but Camila never really backed down from too much. She was very good at knowing what everybody else should do and she had no problem telling you. It was really annoying. How right she always was. And she would tell you “I told you so.” You’d do something she told you not to do and it wouldn’t work out and you’d find yourself bristling around her, just waiting for that “I told you so” to come. And she’d always land it right when your defenses were down.

CAMILA:If you come to me and ask me for advice, and then you don’t take my advice, and it blows up in your face exactly like I told you it would, what do you expect me to say?

KAREN:I told her, “Graham’s an adult. He can handle whatever he gets himself into. It’s not my job to make his decisions.”

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