Page 31 of Privileged (Adrenalin)

“Fair, but you can’t keep him locked away forever.”

“I know. I just don’t want him to venture into the world of tourist hookups. He’s too…pure.”

“Beck?Pure?Have you heard what comes out of his mouth?” I cover my own, so my laughter doesn’t draw any attention.

“That’s just talk. Like I said, he’s curious.”

“He’s also not naïve. Let’s say he does meet a visitor, is that so bad? Lots of people do it.”

“True, only I think he’s a romantic at heart. He wants to find someone, but he’s also impatient. I don’t want him confusing love with lust just because lust is right in front of him.”

“I hear you. I’ll keep an eye out for him too.” I try to appease Lennon, though in the back of my mind I’m also feeling sorry for Beck.

It must be hard to grow up under the watchful eye of the town. Well-meaning as they are, they don’t allow him the freedom to live and learn the way most of us do. When it comes to love, or lust, in my mind both are part of the journey to discover who you are. And while they can hurt, that doesn’t mean they can’t be a source of incredible pleasure.

I’m grateful I don’t have to live under the watchful eye of others, although getting close to the boss people love to speculate about might be just as bad. That thought should make me want to pump the brakes with Carter, but it doesn’t. How could it, after what happened earlier.

Our time together may have ended with orgasms, but it started because he wanted my opinion, something that gives me all sorts of anxious butterflies. True, that’s not a declaration of how he feels, yet it does imply there’s more than lust between us. He told me as much, and with that gesture he showed me he meant it. So, while this thing between us might be a dangerous path, it’s not one I want to stop following.

Chapter twelve

Carter

Something shifted after that shower. Part of me thinks the intimacy of bathing with him is responsible, though that line of thought borders on reducing things to sex, which doesn’t feel right. I’ve done the just sex thing, and it doesn’t feel like this. It doesn’t leave me with deeper questions about who I am, what I want, or what motivates the man sharing my bed.

Sloan is the first man I’ve been with who could care less about my name. That fact alone makes me like him more. For years, I’ve been chased by men that care about my family legacy more than me as a person, but Sloan… He’s different. He’s taken the time to figure out who I am instead of chalking me up to some rich hot-shot. Hell, instead of believing the town gossip, he went out of his way to form an opinion of me by talking to me. It speaks volumes about his character.

For that reason alone I admire him, though I almost think it’s his independence, and his determination to work his way forward on his own merit, that I’m responding to the most. Ironically, that independence might be the one thing to get in the way of his willingness to giveusa true shot. And I understand why, too. He doesn’t want people to see him as someone who’s taken handouts, thoughspeaking from experience, people tend to believe that even when it’s not true. And really, are handouts all bad?

Refocusing on the spreadsheet in front of me, I ponder that notion as the fields once again seem to blur together, wondering if my upbringing isn’t the gift I’ve always thought it was.

People in my world often make their success through favors. I’m sure in some circles those favors are seedy, though that’s not my reality, and because of that I’ve always thought there’s nothing wrong with exploiting who we know to gain an advantage. I believe it can be a good thing, and if nothing else I’m proof of that, using my father’s money and connections to chase my career dreams, which include saving the resort that sustains this town. None of that would be possible without the support of my father and his associates.

Until meeting Sloan, I never questioned the optics of that, and to be honest I’m still not sure I understand his stout refusal to accept a helping hand. If people are going to assume it anyway, why not take advantage of the opportunity?

Turning down help is a foreign concept to me, though I can’t deny feeling an odd sort of respect for that type of ambition. I wonder where that comes from? What made him so averse to the type of networking I grew up with? And is he so opposed to it that it means we’re doomed before we start?

I get that the way things have developed between us makes him leery of accepting my help, and as far as his career goes, I can follow why he has concerns even if I don’t agree with them. Yet Sloan wouldn’t even consider skipping a shift at Murphy’s, a job that has no influence on the career he wants. Who chooses to do that when they don’t have to?

Yes, it was selfish of me to ask him to skip work, and normally I wouldn’t encourage people to play hooky. I just wanted more time with him, and I thought missing a restaurant shift wouldn’t affect hisbigger goals. The fact that he wouldn’t entertain calling out made me respect him even more. Grudgingly. I think that’s why I can’t get him out of my head.

To be fair, he’s been on my mind since the first time I saw him. I must’ve sensed, even then, that he’s different from the men I’m used to. Someone I can be real with.That’s an understatement.

All the men before him were just convenient. Right place, right time. People who satisfied a basic need when the urge got too overwhelming, and who were just as eager for a good, quick fuck as I was. In most cases, we didn’t know anything about each other except carnal attraction. I wouldn’t even share my name if I could avoid it, because I didn’t plan to see them again.

It sounds shallow, but it’s how I protected myself from situations where people wanted the lifestyle more than me. I figured I couldn’t be disappointed in someone’s character if I didn’t know anything about it. With Sloan it’s different. I felt an immediate attraction, but I saw glimpses of his character before acting on anything, and for the first time in my life I want to explore that as much as I want to explore his body.

The sudden urge to learn even more has me closing out of the spreadsheet and picking up the phone.

***

“What’s all this?” Sloan’s backpack falls to the ground as he takes in the containers spread over the coffee table.

“Lunch.” I grin sheepishly.

“Is massage the new code word for lunch?” His nose wrinkles in the cutest little way as he watches me, curiously.

“Much as I’d love one of your massages, we both know where that would lead, and since Janice is right outside the door that’s not on the agenda. But yes, requesting a massage is a convenient way to get you up here without anyone knowing I just want to talk.”

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