Page 59 of Faking It with the Firefighter

“Yes!” he yelled in a way that I knew I’d touched a nerve. “You and Rex have no business being together. If you want to play games for Donny and Blair’s wedding, fine. I don’t like it, but fine. But seriously, Abigail, think about it. You and Rex for real? Never gonna happen.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

Gabe scoffed. “Are you really asking me that?”

“What? You don’t think he’s good enough for me?” The look on his face made me rock back on my heels, and, in a voice that was full of false toughness, I said, “Oh. You don’t thinkI’mgood enough forhim.”

Gabe pulled a Styrofoam container out of the bag and put it down on the table. “Rex is a really good guy, Abigail. What he needs is a nice, quiet woman who will treat him right.”

I blinked, and it wasn’t because I wanted to cry. Itwasn’t. “Right. And I’m such a fuckup that I couldn’t do that?”

Gabe sighed and turned to face me. “That’s not what I meant. I know you love with your whole heart, Abigail. That’s the best thing about you. You’re all-in, all the time. But…”

“But?”

“But sometimes you’re too much. And sometimes, a man needs a woman who can take care of him.” He waved the container of wings. “And I don’t mean with leftover buffalo wings from the local bar.”

I swallowed hard. I knew Gabe thought I was a screwup, but I hadn’t thought he’d say it quite so plainly. The ghost of my divorce loomed in the corner of the room behind him, echoing his words again and again. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t docileenough. I couldn’t cook, or clean, or keep house. I wasn’t wife or girlfriend material, and I certainly wasn’t the kind of woman that clean-cut, upstanding, perfect Rex would deign to date.

“You know what? I’m not hungry anymore.” I grabbed the plastic takeout bag and handed it back to him.

This time, he didn’t argue. “Fine.” He walked off a few steps but then turned back. “I’m sorry, Abs. But it’s for the best.” I must’ve been wearing my pain right there on my face, because Gabe added, “There’s a guy out there for you. It just isn’t Rex.”

His steps echoed in the hallway, and then the front door closed—and locked from the outside. He didn’t even trust me to lock up after he’d gone.

That was Gabe. He always knew better than me.

And tonight, as I looked around my empty house, I wondered if he was right.

Winston appeared in the hallway. He glanced at me, frozen by the dining table, and meowed. Then he slunk close enough that I could bend down and pick him up. With his soft, warm weight against my chest, I buried my face in his fur—and I cried.

NINETEEN

REX

I hardly sleptlast night thinking about Abigail. Or rather, thinking about walking away from a night with Abigail. I could try to justify it to myself by saying that I didn’t want to hurt my relationship with Gabe, but by the time the sun came up, I was pretty sure that wasn’t what was going on anymore.

I was a coward. Short and simple. I’d spent my whole life bending over backward for other people, and now I was scared shitless of standing up for something I wanted. SomeoneI wanted.

Because, yeah, I’d blurted Abigail’s name out when Donny asked me about an RSVP. And that was a lot longer than a few days ago. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized how special she was.

A smart, driven, take-no-shit kind of woman. The kind of person who could handle herself. That was hot as hell.

And besides that, Abigail had a big, beating heart. Life wasturned up to eleven around her. She made me feel like anything was possible.

And I’d messed up. Again. I knew I’d hurt her.

Donny and Blair would be back from their DC trip soon, and I wanted to get over to Abigail’s house before they returned. I had some things I wanted to say to her; I just hoped she’d listen. I walked up Abigail’s front porch and spotted Winston’s black-and-white head peeking out from behind her curtains in the window. He crouched his head and narrowed his little cat eyes at me.

“I know,” I told him through the window. “You’re right. I’m going to talk to her now.”

The cat gave me a slow blink and didn’t move.

I opened the door, and Winston immediately jumped off his window perch and slinked out of the room like I wasn’t worth his time. Message received. I stepped further into the quiet room.

“Abigail?”

She came into the room, her arms crossed and attitude on its maximum setting. I deserved that.

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