Page 99 of Nobody in Particular

This doesn’t seem like a particularly appropriate conversation to be holding around non-family members, and yet here we are. What an excellent way to start a rumor.

Excusing us, I walk Alfie to a quiet corner, and keep a steady smile on my face while I speak.Always assume the room is watching.If I haven’t learned that lesson by now, I never will. “Are we getting engaged now?” I ask. “Because I thought it was customary to check with each other first before diving into something like that?”

Alfie just laughs. “Of course not. They were joking.”

“Were they?”

“Yes,Rosie. We’re seventeen. That’s what happens when you’re around your parents and you’re a couple. You get teased.”

“I suppose I wouldn’t know,” I say, still forcing the same smile.

“What, you don’t want to follow me to Oxford?” he asks, his eyes glittering.

“I’ll happily visit you at Oxford. How about that?”

“Maybe you should consider it. Your father isn’t all wrong, you know.” He pauses. “Have you… put much thought into your future at all?”

“We’re only in fifth year.”

“I know. But then suddenly, we’re going to be in sixth. And then, who knows? I admit, I’ve been curious. What happens to you in the long term? Are you planning on marrying?”

“I suppose so, yes. One day.”

He nods thoughtfully. “And I’d hazard a guess you’d want a husband who’s happy to cover for you while you partake in… other activities behind the scenes?”

“I imagine it would be rather difficult if he weren’t happy.”

“So do I.” He gives me a mischievous grin. “In that case, you know, you could do a lot worse than me.”

“Are you volunteering?” I tease.

He stops grinning, and I almost forget to keep my own expression pleasant. “Are you… volunteering?” I repeat.

He only shrugs.

“But why?” I ask, nonplussed. “If you’re honestly being serious, why on earth would you volunteer to marry me when you don’t lo—” I catch myself, and look at him in questioning horror.

He rolls his eyes. “I’m not in love with you, don’t fret. But I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about what it would be like to be your husband.”

“And?”

“And… I think you’re wonderful. I would be more than happy to spend a life with you.”

“Until youdofall for someone.”

“Well, I admit I assumed you wouldn’t be demanding monogamy from me. Isn’t a side piece one of the treasured traditions of kings worldwide?”

I stare at him, and he seems to realize what he’s said. “Kings of yesteryear, anyway,” he corrects.

“In other words,” I say coolly, “the fate I have to settle for—in which I must forever hide the woman I love—is one you would voluntarily choose?”

“It’s just as voluntary for you as it would be for me,” he says.

I bristle, and open my mouth to tell him off, but he interrupts before I can. “Think about it. You’re choosing to become queen. If you stepped aside, you could do what you wanted with your life. But you know, as I do, that hiding is a small price to pay to stand at the head of our country. To be the one everybody looks up to, and listens to. To have the power to make changes. Think of the sort of good we could do together. I know I couldn’t pull it off as I am. But by your side?”

I suppose, now that he mentions it, I can see Alfie in the role. How many times have I marveled at his ability to make small talk, and charm strangers, and hold himself in the spotlight? He was born for it, in ways that I wasn’t. But I wasactuallyborn for it, and because of that, my choice will always hold a different weight to his.

“It’s more complicated than that for me,” I say thinly.

---