Why wouldn’t I read them?

They’re nice

They say you rescued me

They should have said you squashed me.

But they never do aim for accuracy.

Don’t be modest, you totally rescued me

You weren’t even in squashing radius

Are the pictures nice, at least?

They’re screenshots

They’re nice of you

I look

Hmm

Like a bulldozer?

You’re mean over text.

I’m mean in real life.

Yeah but in real life you smile so I can tell you’re joking

Thank you

September 20

Pay attention.

They’re talking about my great-grandfather.

It’s riveting stuff.

A boring man, though, or so I hear.

I am paying attention

And how did you do that?

Do what?

Text without touching your phone

You just did it again!

Obviously I am touching my phone, Danni.

Honestly, have you never seen sleight of hand?

I’m impressed