Page 108 of Nobody in Particular

Molly seems hesitant, but she answers. “Yeah?”

“How did you know we were together?”

Eleanor watches Molly warily as her face twists. “I didn’t know before you told me,” she says. “But it would’ve been hard to miss thatsomethingwas going on with you two. No offense, Eleanor,” she adds.

I nod, keeping my face passive. I don’t know if I quite believe her, but I’m not certain enough to accuse anyone of anything. How can I discern between genuine suspicion and the paranoia securingits hold on my mind? How much evidence do I need before I turn against my own friends?

“Alright,” I say in a hollow tone.

Molly bites her lip and stands up slowly. “You think I’m the one who outed you and Danni to your family?”

I remain silent.

She clasps her hands in front of her in a mockery of gratitude. “Awesome. Thanks, Rose. Charming. You know what? Do what you want with Alfie. I don’t give a shit. Good luck.”

She leaves with a final, scathing look in my direction. Eleanor picks up her phone, sucking in her cheeks. “Well, that was awkward,” she says.

I let my head fall against the mirror, succumbing to a wave of shame and exhaustion. “I’m sorry,” I say.

“Hey, don’t apologize to me,” she says. Her tone is light, but I don’t miss the reprimand. Even Eleanor, the famous neutral party, thinks I’m in the wrong here. Now I’m even less certain of where I stand than I was before.

I wonder whether, if I squeeze my eyes tightly enough, I can make all of this disappear.

FORTY-FOURDANNI

“Of course I didn’t sell that video,” Edmund says on the other side of the phone. “I would never do that to you.”

I mean, I kind of figured it seemed out of character. But right now it feels like almost anyone could be against me, so I’d figured it was worth calling him to ask. Just so I can know. Maybe having someone to blame would make this feel better, I don’t know.

“Do you have any idea who might have?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.” He sighs. “Gilbert sent it to the group chat that night. He thought it was funny, because he had this theory that you weren’t into guys when you didn’t… like me… because girls usually do, and…” He clears his throat. “It’s not funny, obviously. It’s just, he was saying I told you so.”

“Guess he won,” I say in a deadened tone. “And I do like you. I just don’t—”

“Yeah, no, I get it, I get it. You don’t like guys.”

“Um, I do, actually. But I’ve got feelings for someone else, and they’re not going away anytime soon.”

“Oh.”

I chew on a hangnail. “So, how many people are in that group chat?”

“There’s twelve of us.”

Great.Thatnarrows it down.

“It might have been Laurence Bell,” he says. “He doesn’t need an excuse to be a shit person at the best of times, let alone if he could sell that video for money.”

Maybe. But if I can’t know for sure, I’m not interested in speculating. I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, at the end of the day. It’s not like having a name will change what happens to me tomorrow.

“Are you okay?” Edmund asks. I haven’t told him about the online speculation, or the expulsion. I’m so fucking tired, right down to my marrow, of thinking about it.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’ll be fine.”

“You know,” he says, “I did like hanging out with you. Maybe we could do it again sometime, as friends?”

The last thing I expected right now was for someone to drag a smile out of me. But with this, Edmund manages it. “Sure, okay,” I say. “That’d be fun.”

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