Page 57 of Never Ever Getting Back Together

In the end, they let Perrie pose on the pier—because, I guess, it doesn’t do them any favors to take promo pics where one of their girls looks like she’s about to hurl everywhere—but they insist on putting me back in the water.

When I get back in the boat, I try to catch Skye’s eye, but she doesn’t notice me. If she’s planning on going ahead with the whole rescuing thing, now’s the time for it. But I’m starting to wonder if it’s such a good idea after all. The crewresponsible for our safety barely noticed Perrie needed help before. We might need something more dramatic.

One by one, they tie the girls to the pier so the camera crew can take photos of each girl in the kayak with Jordy in the corniest poses possible: facing each other, or spooning, holding the oars together.

“Flirtier!” Gwendolyn yells at Lauren. “Jordy’s just saved you from a burning building! You and Jordy are office rivals, and your passionate hate has morphed into passionate yearning! You’ve just found out he’s a secret billionaire!Seduce him, Lauren, do you want his riches or not?”

After Lauren is released from what seems to be the tenth circle of hell, Francesca takes her place. While Jordy and Francesca touch each other’s cheeks in the kayak, whispering and giggling to each other like newlyweds on a honeymoon, I paddle over to Skye.

“I think I might hate him, you know?” she says mildly as she watches Jordy pull Francesca into a bear hug for a photo.

“Yeah, his whole ‘nice guy’ act starts to feel a lot more insidious when you know his other side, huh?”

“That’s putting it lightly.”

I grab onto her kayak to pull myself even closer, and lower my voice. “So. You still wanna do this?”

“Definitely. I think now is the perfect time, too.”

“Yeah, same. Just, I was wondering if it’ll be enough?”

Skye gives me a wooden look. “What is it with you and changing plans last minute?”

“I just want to make sure it gets into the episode.”

She squeezes my upper arm, and I glance at her hand. It’s the first time she’s touched me since last week when she moved me away from the shots. Are we touching-friends already? “Maya,” she says, oblivious to my surprise. “It’ll get in. It’ll be big enough. Just do it exactly like we planned, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Promise?No changes?”

“I promise,” I say.

She drops her hand, and I quickly paddle back to the pier, pretending I’m interested in watching the photoshoot, but keeping an eye on her.

In full stealth-mode, Skye gives herself a strong push backward and lets her oar slip under the shockingly blue water. The wind does the rest, grabbing her kayak and gently pulling her out. I watch her in my peripherals, trying to time it so she’s far enough out that the “rescue” is big enough, but not so far that she’s in any danger. Exactly like she told me to.See, Skye? I can totally follow instructions.

That just about does it. Okay. Time to raise the alarm and go after her. Just as I turn to check that the cameras are nearby, my kayak is tugged roughly forward.

“Oops, sorry.” Wai giggles. I watch in horror as she deftly ties my kayak to the pier. “Your turn in a sec, Maya.”

“No, hold on—”

“You’ve got a minute, I’m just gonna untie Francesca, okay?”

“But—” But she’s already sprinting down the pier. I turn frantically back to Skye, who’s starting to look, um… small. “Can you untie this?” I ask Perrie, who’s sitting on the edge of the pier, with a touch of panic.

She examines it, then grimaces. “What the hell even is this knot? How did she do that?”

“I’ve got to get loose now.”

“Why?” she asks. “Are you okay?”

“No, I—” I glance back at Skye again. She’s small, but not so small I can’t catch her if I leavenow.Any longer, and I’ll need to get a producer to rescue her. And if I point Skye out to Perrie, she might raise the alarm before I can, and ourwhole plan will be shot. So, with my brain buzzing in a panic, I do the stupidest thing I could do.

I steel myself, draw my knees up, then topple into the water and begin to swim.

Sorry, Skye. Sometimes we need to improvise.

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