Page 114 of If This Gets Out

“You’ve been giving me one-word answers for weeks now. What’s up? Have I upset you, somehow?”

“I’m not upset, exactly. I just…”

Come on, Zach. Say it. Say you’re not happy with how she responded when you came out. It’s what Ruben would tell you to do.

“Ever since I came out to you, you’ve been treating me so weird, and I want you to know it’s not cool.”

“You think I’ve been treating you weird?”

“I do.”

“Zach, lately you’ve been a different person. You’ve pulled away, I can tell.”

“That’s your fault, not mine.”

Oh jeez, that was clearly the wrong thing to say, as her eyes widen. “How exactly is your behavior my fault?”

“Because I told you I’m bi and you got weird and mad, and then never talked about it again.”

“I thought that was what you wanted!”

“For you to be mad at me?”

“No, gosh, for us to treat it like it’s no big deal.”

“I only said that because I could tell you were being weird.”

She rests her hand on her hip and studies me. “Hang on, is this why you’ve been ignoring me?”

“I haven’t been ignoring you.”

She pulls out her phone, and shows me the screen. She has been messaging me almost constantly, and my responses have been sporadic at best.

“I’ve been busy,” I say.

“You’ve been busy since camp. You made time before.”

“Well, maybe that was before I came out to you and you treated me like I was betraying you.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Can you please stop telling me how I feel? I felt like you didn’t accept me, and I…”

“Oh, Zach,” she says, stepping closer. “You really felt that?”

I nod, and I feel tears prickling.

“You do know I go to Pride every year, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

“And you do know that some of my best friends are queer?”

“Yep.”

“And have I not always told you I’m going to support you wherever you fall on the gender and sexuality spectrum?”

“Well, yeah. But then why were you weird when I came out?”

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