Page 94 of If This Gets Out

He hands his phone over to me and I skim the article, Zach reading over my shoulder.

Romance Is in the Air! A Peek into the Past—and Present—Romances of the Boys from Saturday!

There’s a photo of Jon as a kid, alongside some girl I don’t recognize. God, he must be, what, fourteen here? Following this is a photo of him and Imani Peters, a childhood friend of his, walking on a street somewhere. From his haircut, I place the photo as somewhere shortly before our tour started back in America.

Not much is known about Jon and Imani Peters, although our source confirms they definitely had a fling a few months back. Could it be serious? We don’t know—but we’re sure thousands of girls around the world are praying it isn’t so!

Well, that would be a categorically shitty thing for Imani to read if shewaswith Jon. Which I’m damn sure she isn’t, given Jon’s brought her up exactly zero times in the last few months.

Next are a few photos of Angel and various girls. One is Rosie, a girl he dated for a month or two when he was sixteen—they’ve stolen a nauseatingly cute couple photo from her Instagram, which isn’t creepy at all—one is a girl I don’t recognize, and one is a blurry shot of Angel and Lina on the street during our confrontation in Berlin.

Sources tell us that Angel and Lina Weber have been inseparable for the last month, and that he’s flyingacross Europe for the second half of Saturday’s Months by Years tour! Could this be an endgame couple? Time will tell. But we sure haven’t seen Angel give heart eyes this obvious to anyone before! Sorry, ladies. He’s taken!

Those weren’t heart eyes, they were the over-dilated eyes of someone high, panicky, and paranoid. An easy mistake to make by all measures.

Next is a photo of Zach, out to lunch with—

“That’s mycousin,” he cries, aghast. “What thefuck?”

“Cousin, ‘mystery girl,’ potato, potahto, I guess,” I say, curling my lip.

“Which ‘sources’ say they saw us on a whirlwind date on a horse-drawn carriage?” Zach demands. “We caught up for lunch so she could show me herultrasound photos.Because she’spregnant.With herboyfriend’s baby.”

I’m too busy scrolling down to my section to reply, a brick sitting in the pit of my stomach. Yup, I’d thought as much—me and all my “girlfriends.” There’s a photo of Amaya, the girl who played Mimi alongside me as Roger inRenta year before Saturday was formed. Me and Molly, a girl I’d been friends with at Camp Hollow Rock, who I’ve more or less fallen out of touch with. Me getting my hair “lovingly pushed back” by goddamn Penny,Penny,because apparently whoever wrote this article either didn’t bother to research who ourhair and makeupartist is, or they simply didn’t care.

Angel rejoins us, buzzing with renewed energy. He has a bounce to his step and he’s running his tongue over his teeth. His eyeliner is already smudged. “Whatcha doin’ over here?” he asks, sitting on the back of my seat and reaching for Jon’s phone.

“Just reading an article about every girl we’ve ever been inthe same room with and why that means we’re dating them,” I say.

Angel flicks through the article. “Oh man. Ohman. I—well, you know what, at least they’refuckingacknowledging I’m fuckable,” he says loudly. Then he throws his arms back to address the room. “Breaking news! Chorus realizes it’s actually possible for someone to find Angel attractive! Call the press, this changes everything!”

A few of our team members, including Erin, glance our way, but no one replies or approaches us.

Zach hums. “So, you think the source is David, too, huh? I wondered if it was just me.”

Angel laughs at top-volume, and for several beats too long. It sounds more like a villain’s cackle. “No, Zachy, not just you. If this isn’t David’s doing I’ll jump off the stage and surf the fucking crowd tonight. This is real obvious. Zach and Ruben are super super no-homo, just super straight, everyone.”

“And I’m probably available, with just enough of a question in there to make me seem more appealing,” Jon says dully.

“And I’m also definitely straight, but not the one the fans should be dreaming of,” Angel adds, a vicious edge to his tone.

“So, there’s no reason to eventhinkabout shipping anyone with anyone,” I finish, and Angel claps me on the shoulder in approval.

“David sent in a photo of me with mypregnant cousin,” Zach says, indignant, and Angel howls with laughter until he falls right off the chair.

Jon helps Angel to his feet, and I stand to meet him. “Hey, you okay?” I ask.

Angel claps his hands. “Absotively fantastic. I am so,soready. Let’s fuckinggo,let’s get onstage,I’mpumped!”

He’s jumping on the spot now.

Not one member of our team seems to mind. They’ve got to have noticed; it’s impossible for them to have missed it. But if they don’t mind, what can be done? It’s not like Angel listens to us.

I hand Angel a bottle of water and force a smile. “Okay. Well. As long as you’re okay, I guess.”

His face clouds and he rips the lid off the bottle with his teeth. “I’mfine,Ruben. Don’t ruin it.”

I glance at Zach and Jon. They’re wearing matching concerned expressions. But their eyes tell me I’m right. There’s nothing we can do that we haven’t already tried. And frankly, between our schedule, and the weirdness over me and Zach coming out, and Zach’s worry about his mom, and my mom texting me with critiques every second of the day, I don’t have the capacity to deal with this. It’s all too big for me to know where to begin.

---