Page 67 of If This Gets Out

“Exactly. But in the grand scheme of things, that stop’s only seconds away. Once it’s over, we can all have a conversation about the next best steps. Sound good?”

Zach nods enthusiastically. I hesitate, then give a single, curt nod.

There’s a fairy tale Dad used to read to me before bed, about a gingerbread man who needs to cross a river. A fox offers to give him a ride on his head while it swims.

Then the fox rips the gingerbread man apart while he’s still conscious and screaming for his lost limbs.

“I’m a quarter gone. I’m half gone. I’m three-quarters gone. I’m all gone.”

When Erin lets us out of her room, we find Jon and Angel standing right outside the door. Jon holds a finger to his lip and ushers us into his room. We all tumble onto the bed, and Zach falls backward to lie down with his legs over the side, a blissful grin on his face. “It was fine!” he says. “He wasso goodabout it.”

Angel’s eyebrows shoot up, and Jon looks to me for clarification. I shrug and give a half smile. Something in his eyes goes hard. If anyone knows what Geoff’s like, it’s Jon.

When you’re raised by a fox, you know better than to climb on its head.

I should’ve known better, too. Jon’s not the only one who grew up in a fox’s den.

“That’s… great,” Jon says.

“Yeah!” Zach tips his head back farther to look at me, and reaches a hand out. I give it a squeeze. I think I might squeeze a little too hard.

Angel hops up and goes to the window to look down at the crowd. “Well,” he says. “Screw it. If Geoff’s gonna act like a human for once, take it, I guess.”

“Exactly,” says Zach.

“So, when are you telling everyone?” Jon asks.

“To be determined,” I say shortly. “Probably after the tour.”

Jon lifts his chin slowly in comprehension, wearing a bitter smile. I shrug a single shoulder.I know.We announce when Geoff decides we announce. Not when we’re ready.

“So, secret dating?” Angel asks, turning away from the window and leaning his hands back against the pane. “Scandalous.”

“For now,” Zach says. “We’re just taking it as it comes. Who knows what’ll happen.”

“Right,” Jon says delicately. “Just… be careful, okay? If you two break up and it gets weird, it could go bad real quick.”

“What are you basing that on, Jon?” Angel deadpans, kicking off from the wall to stroll around the room. “It’s not like we haveanyexamples of Zach and Ruben turning into mortal enemies the second things get weird between them.”

“We can’t break up,” I say. “Because we aren’t in a relationship. We’re just two people who exist in relation to each other.”

Zach ducks his head to hide a laugh.

Angel widens his eyes innocently. “Oh, I’m sorry, were you in a relationship thelast timeyour ‘feud’ became a trending hashtag?”

“We get it,” Zach interjects, hoisting himself to a sitting position. “Promise. We won’t let it get weird again. You can hold us to that.”

“We will,” Jon says. There’s not a trace of playfulness in his voice, either.

“Just don’t gettoocutesy, okay?” Angel says, turning slowly in the middle of the room like he’s performing a dance solo for us. “I don’t like it when I’m not the center of everyone’s universe, so I’m gonna need you to be mindful of my feelings.”

“Don’t worry,” Zach says. “You’ll always be the center of Jon’s universe.”

Jon rolls his eyes and Angel doesn’t look impressed. “Yay. But for real. No dates without me, okay? I get an all-access pass to dates.”

“Watch what you wish for,” I say. “Some things work better with two people.”

Zach suddenly becomes very interested in the ceiling, and shuffles away from me on the bed, his entire face deepening into an unflattering shade of ketchup-red.

---