Page 70 of Perfect on Paper

“Thank you. Basically, they’re ambivalent. They want to be close to people, but they’re also really scared of being close to people. And their emotions go all scrambled, and they want to be closer and further away at the same time. Like, if you feel rejected, you want to get closer,but then when it’s all working out, you suddenly feel trapped.”

Ainsley stared at me in amusement, then something like thoughtful contemplation crossed her face. “Well, it’d explain Brooke, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been obsessed with her for ages. You never felt trapped, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, she wasn’t into you. No offense. So you were always in the ‘I want to get closer’ phase, right?”

I stared at her. “Oh my god. You’re a genius.”

“Correct.” She waved her spoon at me, before digging it back into the pint. “But where do Mom and Dad come in?”

“Oh. Well, you get your attachment style from how you were raised. And fearful-avoidants wanted to go to their parents for comfort, but their parents were the ones that made them need comfort to begin with.”

“That makes sense. So, you think you needed comfort from them because they wouldn’t let you talk duringHow I Met Your Mother?”

“Yup.”

“And not because they’d scream the house down every second night when we were trying to sleep?”

“Hmm. Could also be that, I guess.”

“Could be.” She passed the ice cream back to me, and I dug straight into it. “Damn. Now what?”

I placed the ice cream on the floor and she opened her arms for me to fall into. “Gosh, you’re a handful.” She laughed into my hair as she rocked me. “Such a heartbreaker.”

“What do I do?” I asked into her chest.

“You’re askingme?”

“Well, I can’t ask locker eighty-nine.”

We pulled apart, and giggled together. “Do you like Brougham?” she asked.

With a groan, I threw myself backward and bounced on the mattress. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Okay. Well. What color are his eyes?”

“This really pretty dark-blue color. Navy, I think.”

“What does he think of Phish Food?”

“He prefers tiramisu.”

“When was the last time you saw him smile?”

I responded without missing a beat. “When he asked if I’d be upset if he didn’t get back with Winona.”

Ainsley went silent for a while. When I peeked back at her, she was staring at me with one knowing eyebrow raised.

Then I got it. “Ohwow.I might like him.”

“Yeah, I think you might.”

Okay. Shit. I might.

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