Page 35 of Perfect on Paper

“No,” Ainsley and I said simultaneously.

Brougham’s eyes widened. “Okay.”

“Becasual,” I said.

“I’mcasual!”

“If you say so. So, do you still need me?”

Brougham blinked. “Of course I do. Just because I haven’t screwed it up yet doesn’t mean anything.”

“But what do you expect me to, like… do?”

Brougham attempted to share an exasperated look with Ainsley, but she shrugged. She was on my side. “If Winona starts looking smothered, let me know and talk me through fixing it,” he said.

“You’ve been doing great all day, Brougham. I think you’re using me as a safety blanket. You need to adjust to being with her alone.”

He looked positively alarmed at the idea. “No,no.Just because it’s fine now doesn’t mean it’ll stay fine. You don’t get it. I always think everything’s fine right up until she’s overwhelmed by me. I needhelp.I’m gonna fuck it up, IknowI am.”

“Okay, breathe,” I said. This baby bird was clearly not ready to leave the nest. Noted. “I’m here as long as you need me.”

“Thank you, thank you, but can you go, please, she’ll be out in a sec.”

Dismissed, Ainsley and I took our leave to a crowded spot over by the Matterhorn waterfall. At least he said “please” this time.

The rest of the afternoon went by in much the same way. Ainsley and I trailed after Brougham, following him on rides and grabbing snacks whenever we had a slow moment by a stall. We even found time for Ainsley to buy a pair of sparkly pink Minnie ears, and honestly, even if they were ungodly expensive and cost the same as several outfits at Jenny’s would’ve, I wasn’t lying when I assured her it was a justifiable purchase. You couldn’t see the look on her face when she took a selfie with them and think anything else.

As for Ray and Brooke, I was cucumber-cool. I only checked my phone several dozen times for texts. Only let my mind wander to what they might be doing right now two or three times a minute,max.By the time we park-hopped to California Adventure in the evening and I’d still received no messages from Brooke, I’d started feeling optimistic. Surely if something had happened between them, Brooke would’ve gushed to me during a bathroom break or something. Even if she thought something waslikelyto happen, she’d let me know. So, maybe it’d gone down the purely platonic route.

And as for Ainsley and me, we just had to get through a couple more hours, then Brougham and Winona would recreate their World of Color date, and either they’d have a romantic moment or Winona would leave with a positiveimpression of Brougham. Then I could go home and talk to Brooke for a play-by-play.

Then, when we got to the river rapids ride, things started going spectacularly wrong.

It started with Ainsley announcing she needed the bathroom just as we got close enough to hear the running water. Brougham and Winona went straight in, and the line was surprisingly short, so I tried to talk her into powering through, but she insisted. And, naturally, during the three or so minutes it took us to finish in the bathroom, the line filled with dozens of riders, separating us from our stalkees by a good fifteen minutes on our return.

“We should skip it,” I said as Ainsley emerged. “They’re going to be finished in a sec.”

“But it’s my favorite ride.” Ainsley pouted. “They’ve been fine all day. Can’t you just text Brougham letting him know we’ll be running behind? We deserve asecondto ourselves.”

I couldn’t say no to her puppy-dog eyes. And besides, she had a point. Brougham had practically just used me as a security blanket all day. He really didn’t need me. So, I took her advice, texting Brougham our whereabouts. It took us about half an hour to get through the line, and by the time we’d finished, half-soaked and smelling like chlorine and shivering in the cooling evening air, I was starting to feel twinges of guilt. Brougham had paid for us to come along, after all. We probably should’ve spent more time negotiating the logistics of my personal breaks.

Ainsley hummed “The Unbirthday Song” absentmindedly while I rescued my phone from her waterproof backpack—and lucky itwaswaterproof, because it’d taken a hell of a splashing—and I checked my messages.

Five message notifications. The most recent one from Brooke.

So, I have a girlfriend. CALL ME!?!?!?

All thoughts of guilt, and Brougham’s whereabouts, evaporated. My legs went weak, and my cheeks started to tingle. I felt winded, like I’d walked into a glass door I thought was empty air.

“What?” asked Ainsley.

I passed the phone to her wordlessly.

“Shit.”

I couldn’t reply. I was too dizzy. I’d left Brooke alone so I could follow Brougham around Disneyland forno fucking reason,stalking him and this poor girl so I could give feedback that wasnever even needed,and now I’d lost Brooke. I’d lost her. It could’ve been me she was sitting beside, me whose hand might have brushed hers, me who she might have turned to in a scary moment and kissed. But it wasn’t. Because I was here and Ray was there. My breathing started speeding up, and my eyes welled up with tears.

“Okay, time out,” Ainsley said. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit down.”

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