Page 8 of Only Mostly Devastated

“I did meet someone,” I said. “And… yeah, some things did happen. Um…”

“Someone? Guy or girl or…?” Juliette interrupted.

Well. So much for tiptoeing around pronouns. I’d known I’d have to “come out” here sooner or later, if you could call it coming out when I’d been out for years. But I’d alreadygonethrough all that awkwardness back home. I kind of felt like I’d paid my dues, you know? Also, notably, Collinswood, North Carolina, was possibly atadhigher difficulty level on the coming-out spectrum than San Jose. I’d hoped it’d happen more organically, like people would kind of figure it out, and we’d all just know and act like it was normal, because itwasnormal for me, and we could skip off into the sunset with zero interrogations.

And yet.

“Guy,” I said finally. Weirdly, it was hard to make my mouth form the word. After all these years being comfortable and confident in myself back home, I felt fourteen again. And I didnotappreciate it.

Juliette nodded like she’d expected it. Niamh raised her eyebrows and tilted her head, as though she’d spotted a rare bird or something. Lara blinked, and made a lemon-sucking face. Well fine. Screw her. I didn’t particularly care about her approval anyway, so.

After a slight pause that came close to uncomfortable, Niamh and Juliette spoke up at the same time.

“What’s his name?”

“Do you have a picture?”

I hesitated, then figured why not? I flicked through his Instagram—for such a hot guy, his pictures sure didn’t do him justice—until I found a photo that was acceptable. Iheld the phone out to Juliette, and Lara leaned over to peek. I wished she wouldn’t, but I couldn’t exactly ask her to keep her nose out of it, could I? “His name’s Will,” I said.

Juliette and Lara made identical taken-aback expressions. “I know,” I said. “He’s out of my league, right?”

“Don’t knock yourself,” Niamh chided, holding her hand out to see. Juliette passed it to her silently. Niamh checked the photo, then turned it back around to Juliette. “Wait, Will—”

“He’s all right,” Lara interrupted, holding up a hand, all traces of lemon lips vanished. “And have you told Prince Charming you’re staying south?”

Good question. “Uh… well… he hasn’t posted anything in a while, so I’m not sure he saw,” I faltered. No need to go into the painful details of how many texts he’d left unanswered. “The move happened pretty quickly.”

“Oh? So he doesn’t know you’re here?” Lara asked.

I had no idea what her angle was, but it was clear from her tone—and Juliette’s sideways glance at her—that she wasn’t asking out of empathy. Probably to rub in that I’d been rejected. Which was the case, let’s be honest. Who disappears off social media with no warning for two solid weeks? He’d probably blocked me from seeing his new posts. What happens at the lake stays at the lake, right?

“Well… no,” I said. So much for hiding the “he’s ignoring me” thing. “I mean, there could be a good reason he’s gone quiet. He didn’t really seem like a player, you know? He was really sweet. And I actually… kind of… don’t know where he lives, exactly. He told me once, but I’ve forgotten.”

Juliette and Niamh exchanged glances with Lara, then they offered me weak smiles. “Who knows?” Juliette said. “He could totally have a reason.”

She wasn’t convincing. Eurgh, was itthatobvious? And here I’d been holding out some hope it wasn’t personal. But of course it was. A guy like that wouldn’t go for someone like me in real life. I guess I was probably just the best option he had available at the time.

After watching my face as I got more and more dejected, Lara jumped in and changed the topic. Which was nice of her. Maybe I’d judged her too quickly. “Anyway, Ollie, has anyone told you about the party at Rachel’s tonight?”

“I don’t even know who Rachel is, so, nope.”

“It’s our back-to-school-bash thing. You should come with us,” Juliette said, clapping once. “We’re getting ready at my place after dinner. Can you get there around seven?”

I thought about it. On a Tuesday? I got that it was the first day of school, butreally? It’d take a lot of bribery on my part to get permission. Assuming no one needed me for babysitting. I could deal with that if it came up, though. I knew what happened if you turned down your first invitation at a new school: you never got a second one. I’d seen it happen a few times to kids back home. If I could help it, it wouldn’t happen to me. “Yeah, sure. Text me your address.”

With that, we hastily exchanged numbers. Then the bell was ringing, and Juliette was dragging me by the wrist to my first class. It seemed I was adopted into the rose-necklace group. Provisionally at least. I’d far from nailed my first impression, but apparently it hadn’t been a total fail.

Good. This was good. Homeroom: achievement unlocked. The hardest part was over. It’d be all downhill from here. I could feel it.

3

I buried my toes in the sand while the kids played in the shallows. It was one of those days where it was so warm the horizon seemed wavy and distorted. The sky was a darker, richer blue than usual, contrasting starkly against the fir-covered hills across the lake.

A shadow to my right told me I wasn’t alone. Not that I was strictly alone to begin with—there were at least forty others scattered around, bobbing in the water, lounging on beach towels, perched at picnic benches. But none of them noticed me.

Will sat down beside me, staring out at the lake as he did. Today he wore dark denim shorts and a crisp white V-neck that made his warm skin seem even deeper. “Those kids yours?” he asked, without glancing at me. He was being cute. I kind of loved it.

“Nope. Never seen them in my life,” I joked.

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