Page 23 of Only Mostly Devastated

“I told you, I didn’t want—”

“You dragged meinto a closetto have this conversation. Did you do this on purpose, or what? Unbelievable.”

“I don’t…” Will started, then it must’ve clicked. “Really, Ollie? Super mature.”

“I’mimmature? You’re too afraid to be seentalkingto me. Are we done?” It was funny. All this time, I’d been through so many emotions. Hurt. Betrayal. Sadness. Acceptance. Maybe a bit—okay, maybe alot—of longing. But I hadn’t been angry. At least, I hadn’t realized I was so angry. Here I was, however, bubbling right up and over. Pissed off as all hell.

“We haven’t even started. Can you give me a chance to explain?”

A chance? We’d been talking for at least five minutes now.

“… Ollie?”

“Yes,I’m listening, whatever. Go.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I swear. My parents caught me coming home that night and went nuts. They confiscated my phone, I wasn’t allowed to touch my laptop, nothing. For three weeks. It was ridiculous.”

Yeah, yeah, I knew all this. I considered pointing out that he’d told people he was with girls that night, but I couldn’t even be bothered going down that road with him. It’d only conflate things. “It’s cool. Really. I’m more concerned with how you acted at the party. What was that? The conversation with your friend must have beenreallyriveting for you to forget I was there so quickly.”

My eyes had started adjusting to the darkness. There he was. Leaning against the door, one hand draped across hisstomach, the finger of the other in his mouth. He was looking right at me, at least. Suddenly, I was self-conscious. How did I look today? Had I put enough effort in getting ready this morning? Had I checked my teeth before I left the house?

“You told the girls about me. I freaked out, okay?”

“I’m sorry. Really, I—”

“I know you are! I’m not mad. I know you didn’t do it on purpose. You had no idea. But that doesn’t mean it’s all fine, you know? I mean, what if they tell someone?”

“They haven’t yet.”

“Yet. If my parents found out… Ollie…”

I didn’t reply. Because what could I say to that? My whole face flushed with shame, the anger temporarily forgotten. It was all my fault he’d been put in this situation. Whether I meant to or not. Why hadn’t I kept my damn mouth shut? I hadn’t evenknownthose girls and I’d spilled out my life story. Or at least my summer story. Which was more torrid than the rest of my life combined, to be fair.

Will hugged himself with both arms and stared at the ground. “I wasn’t good enough to get a basketball scholarship, so I’m relying on them to support me. I can’t fuck anything up this year, or I’m done.”

And a fuckup would include… right.

“I see.”

“I didn’t know what to do. I mean, Jesus, it’s not like I expected you to be here. It’s so ridiculous.”

That was another thing with Will. Everything was “ridiculous,” from minor anomalies to life-altering events. I had to fight a smile hearing that word again. Even if it did kind of apply in this situation.

“I was scared, okay? What I did over the summer… like, whatwedid, isn’t something I would’ve done with anyone from around here. I thought it was safe.”

Right. So he’d been counting on never having to see me again. Bam. Ouch.

“Then it’s like, oh, hey, Ollie is right fucking there, and now some peopleknow, and for a second I thought that was it. Like well, here we go, now everyone’s about to find out everything.” He paused to let me speak. When I didn’t, he went on. “I had to see you, though. I haven’t thought about anything else since the party. I was just scared. I mean, you’rehere.”

He touched my arm. Even though it made me shiver, and my blood heat up by several degrees, and my stomach kick up, I yanked away. The anger was well and truly back, and it wasn’t having any of my body’s romance bullshit.

Will blinked at me, hurt. “I’m so glad to see you,” he tried.

“Yeah, I can tell,” I said, gesturing at the walls. So glad to see me he couldn’t even be seen speaking to me. So glad he’d taken two weeks to text me after getting his phone back. Clearly he wasrapturous.

“I have to get to class,” I said, trying to push past him.

He blocked me. “Wait.”

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