Page 20 of Only Mostly Devastated

“I could tell you meant it.”

“I did. But it’s not as hard as the second one.”

“Doesn’t matter. Anyone can play a note. Talent’s what you do with the notes. Don’t you think?”

Juliette rested her clarinet between her knees and flushed. “You think I’m talented?”

“Nah. You suck. I was being nice.”

She laughed, then gave me that little half-smile of hers. “I’m so glad I met you, Ollie-oop. You know, you’re not this funny around the others. Have you noticed?”

Well, that was because every sentence I spoke around Lara was like pulling the trigger in a game of bitchy Russian roulette. Kind of puts a damper on attempts at humor. “I’m not great in groups,” I said. “I’m socially awkward.”

“You’renotsocially awkward.” Said the girl who insisted Lara didn’t dislike me. Super credible. “But you should try to relax more. Don’t be afraid to talk with us, okay? We love having you around.”

Love.That was a strong word. But it perked me up, anyway. I shuffled around to face the piano. It was easier to speak to an instrument, even one I couldn’t really play beyond the basics. “Maybe if we ate lunch in here I’d be more relaxed.”

Juliette started packing up her clarinet. “Oh my God, Iknow.There’s something about music, don’t you think? It makes everything feel so much easier, and nicer.”

I played a C chord on the piano and nodded. “All my friendships were based on music back home. We all listenedto similar stuff, we all played together… It doesn’t seem to be as big here.”

“I guess it depends what groups you hang around with. You’re right, though. You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk about playing with.”

“It’s an honor.” I grinned.

“My parents don’t take it seriously. Apparently I get everything from my grandpa. It skipped a generation.”

“Their loss, I guess.”

“Try my loss. I mean, they’re not horrible about it. They sprang for private lessons. As a hobby, though, not a career.”

“So, what do they think about this audition?”

“They don’t. Think. They don’t know about it.”

I gaped. “You rebel!”

“Easier to say sorry than ask permission, Ollie-oop. Needs do as needs must.”

“You can quote as many clichéd sayings at me as you want, but I’m still impressed.”

I couldn’t imagine going behind my parents’ backs with something that big. The most rebellious thing I’d ever done to date had been sneaking out to see Will his last night at the lake, and I could blame that on irrational hormones.

I’d beenpumped fullof those irrational hormones. Like Romeo and Juliet, but a teensy bit less stupid.

I grabbed my phone as Juliette gathered her music, and only then noticed I had a new text. The tone must have been drowned out by the clarinet. I unlocked it, expecting it to be Ryan or Hayley through some weird, telepathic connection, telling me they missed me or something.

But it was way weirder than that.

It was Will. I recognized the last few digits.

Monday, 12:18 PM

Can we talk?

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit oh God shit fuck crap. I was not prepared for this, oh Jesus.

---