Page 71 of Only Mostly Devastated

Like any queen, she drew the crowd’s attention as kids passed us on their way into school. But the too-long looks and hushed whispers weren’t awed. Some were curious, some were almost fearful, and some were judgmental.

We stared each one of them down until they kept moving.

Everyone knew by now, of course. Anyone who hadn’t been there in the cafeteria would’ve found out through the whisper network yesterday afternoon. There would be people throughout the school who’d never met Lara, but who now knew intimate details about her sexuality.Would have it in their minds when and if theydidmeet her. Would have an opinion on her, and who she was as a person.

I knew how that felt. Shit. Absolutely shit.

I spotted a group of black-and-white moving across the parking lot. Will, Darnell, and Matt. I angled my body toward Lara so I wouldn’t have to pretend to be incredibly interested in the roof when Will walked past in order to avoid awkward eye contact.

“Ask her.”

The whisper came from a group of girls I vaguely recognized from Biology. One of them, a girl who wore her mousy blond hair in a ponytail, had on a T-shirt that saidCHOCOLATE IS THE ANSWER, BUT WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?Her friends gave her a shove, and she giggled, then dared to look up at Lara on her throne. “So, we wanted to know if you were lesbian when we all got changed together backstage at the Sophomore Showcase?”

Lara made a point of gradually turning her head to take the girl in. “Oh, good fucking morning, Charlotte,” she said, high-pitched and perky.

Charlotte’s friends shifted in place, but they held their ground. “It’s a fair question,” Charlotte said. “I mean, if youwere, it’s pretty bad that you didn’t say anything. We had a right to know who we were changing in front of. Some of us werenaked.”

Lara laughed into her drink, causing the coffee to bubble. “God, you’re right. It’s a wonder I was able to restrain myself around you all once you stripped down to your grandma underwear.”

“So, you were?”

“What, you think I went to bed straight then hadthe world’s most convincing sex dream and woke up craving—”

“Don’tsay it.”

“Vagina, clit, beaver—”

“You’redisgusting.”

“Thefurry furnace,” Lara cried, kicking out in front of her. Charlotte shrieked and leaped backward. “What, are you ashamed to be a girl or something, Char?”

“Charlotte. And no, I don’t think that. But I did think it was interesting that you all start hanging with the new kid, and suddenly you’re gay, too.”

Of course I’d get dragged into this. Of course.

“There’s nothing sudden about it,Charlotte,” Lara said.

“That’s all I wanted to know. In that case—”

“Infact,” Lara said over her, “I wasscrewing your motherthe day you had your first Lifetime channel, straight-ass kiss with Todd Ferguson.”

“I always knew you were a slut, but I didn’t take you for a—”

“I don’t think you want to finish that sentence.” It was Matt, storming through the stream of students, closely followed by Darnell and a nervous-looking Will.

“This is none of your business,” Charlotte said, but her voice had lost some of its thunder.

“Like hell it’s none of my business. You’re standing in front ofmyschool spewing some crap tomyfriend, when you and I both know your mama would wash your damn mouth out if she heard you saying that kind of shit. So go on if you want to, but Iwillbe recording it, and Iwillsend it straight to my ma, who’ll make sure yours sees it by first period. They work in the same building,remember?”

Several students had slowed down to watch the dramaunfold by now. Charlotte looked like she had half a mind to keep going, but her friends had the sense to grab her by the elbow and drag her inside the building. Gradually, the crowd dispersed, and Matt went to stand below Lara.

“I don’t need defending,” she said.

“Oh, I know you don’t. But youalwaysget to go in with the smackdowns, and I’ve hated that girl’s face since seventh grade when she bribed her way into being class president.”

“You just wanted a little masculinity boost.”

“Trust me, my masculinity didn’t need any boosting.” Matt leaned one arm against the brick wall. “But, seriously, fuck her. If she or anyone else gives you shit, let me know, all right? That shit’s not cool, and I’m not afraid to play dirty.”

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