Page 92 of You Were Never Not Mine

I can forgive everyone for lots of things as long as I know August is in my life.

My phone rings and I don’t even bother checking it, my gut telling me it’s August. He can’t even be apart from me for a minute. He’s already calling me and I feel exactly the same way.

“There you are! I’ve been trying to call you all weekend.”

My stomach drops at the sound of my mother’s voice and I regret not checking who the call was from. “Oh. Hey. Sorry. I’ve been busy.”

“Uh huh. Having the time of your life, I’m sure.” There’s an edge to her voice that’s always present when we talk lately and I sometimes can’t help but think she’s jealous of me being away at college while she’s stuck in her mundane life. I don’t think she’s happy. How can she be, when she has to deal with my unfaithful father?

“I suppose,” I hedge, reminding myself I don’t want to tell her about August.

“Have you finally met someone?”

A sigh leaves me. “Why does my being busy always have to involve a man? School is keeping me busy too, you know.”

“Because you’re just like me.” She laughs, and the sound grates. I’ve never thought I was like her. “You’ve blossomed into a beautiful young woman and I know all the men must be coming around. I remember what it was like when I wasin college. I can only hope you’re having the same experience.”

“Were you a ho?” The question leaves me before I can second-guess myself and I sort of regret it.

But then again, she goes completely silent, so I sort ofdon’tregret it either.

“A ho? Are you asking me if I slept around when I was in college? The answer would be yes.” She giggles and I grimace. This is information I don’t need to know about. “And then I met your father and fell hopelessly in love with the man. Now he’s stuck with me.”

I never want August to feel stuck with me. That sounds awful. “Did you know he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with right away?”

I don’t know if I feel that strongly for August. I definitely care about him but is this just a phase for us? Will he move on after he’s had his fill? I want to protect myself from falling deeper because what if it’s not reciprocated? I’ll be devastated if that happens.

“No, of course not. I don’t believe in love at first sight and you shouldn’t either.” She goes quiet for a moment. “So you have met someone.”

“Sort of.” I’m desperate to keep his name to myself. “It’s nothing serious.”

Those three words leave a bad taste in my mouth and I regret saying them. I don’t mean it. What August and I share is…overwhelming. In a good way. In a serious way.

“This is the period in your life where you should have fun,” Mom says, her voice soft. “You don’t need to settle down yet. You’re only eighteen. You have your entire life to fall in love. Considering this is your first year in college, you should be partying and having the best time ever.”

She is surprisingly logical and that’s not like her.

“I’ve definitely been having fun.” I launch into a story aboutgoing to a party with Elise and Mom eats it up, asking all sorts of questions and laughing along with me. But it feels wrong, talking about a stupid party when I should be telling her about August and how much he means to me instead.

I’m conflicted. There’s that bigger part of me that doesn’t dare mention him, but then there’s that tiny, falling in love with August part that wants to spill her guts and tell Mom everything.

My heart seizes in my chest at the thought. Falling in love with August? Is that what’s happening between us? Hard to believe. Why would I love him?

Why would you not love him, whispers that secret voice buried deep in my brain.

“I sort of am dating someone though,” I admit after my party story.

“Oooh, what’s his name? And please tell me it’s just a fling,” Mom encourages.

“His name is—August Lancaster.”

Dead silence greets me and I grip my phone tight, my stomach churning. I wait for her response, mentally preparing myself for the blast.

“Are you serious?” she screeches and I close my eyes, hating how excited she sounds. It’s not because she knows August and adores him. It’s that she knows his family name and how much wealth they have. I know how she operates. “You’re dating a Lancaster?”

“It’s not a big deal?—”

“It’s a huge deal, Sinclair! The Lancasters are one of the wealthiest families in this country. They have so much money it’s ridiculous. Isn’t August Lancaster Whit’s son?”

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